Losing My Mother...I have lost myself!
My Mother was a kind and generous person. She is the only person I know that never said a mean word about other people. She gave all her love, time, money and energy to her kids and grandkids..she had so much love to give and never asked for anything.
On March 28th of this year she was told she had ovarian cancer and it was too late to treat it. The doctors gave her 4-6 months and she passed away after 5 months. We had time to spend with her and love on her and tell her what was on our heart. We were so blessed that she was not in pain and was able to be coherent right to the end.
But because she was so loving and caring and dear it makes the loss so much worse. She was my best friend and we spoke or were together every day. She helped me raise my kids and we had wonderful times together.
But my heart is so broken I just cant imagine going on without her. I put on a face of trying to look normal but there is nothing normal. I is like taking off a pair of rose colored glasses and seeing the world in a whole new light...it is cold and dark and well...I am invisible. I feel like I am walking and working and taking care of my family but yet without her I am invisible.
She thought everything I did was so great, she gave her love with no strings and I know that there will never be another who will love me like that.
My dad is just angry and never did treat her with love and respect so why would he now feel the same pain I am feeling? I am walking this pain alone and for now I have to find a way to accept this new world. So for now I pretend when I am out in the public but at home I cry every day. I know it will get better but Mom...I need you.