Losing My Mother...I have lost myself!

by Dianntha

My Mother was a kind and generous person. She is the only person I know that never said a mean word about other people. She gave all her love, time, money and energy to her kids and grandkids..she had so much love to give and never asked for anything.
On March 28th of this year she was told she had ovarian cancer and it was too late to treat it. The doctors gave her 4-6 months and she passed away after 5 months. We had time to spend with her and love on her and tell her what was on our heart. We were so blessed that she was not in pain and was able to be coherent right to the end.
But because she was so loving and caring and dear it makes the loss so much worse. She was my best friend and we spoke or were together every day. She helped me raise my kids and we had wonderful times together.
But my heart is so broken I just cant imagine going on without her. I put on a face of trying to look normal but there is nothing normal. I is like taking off a pair of rose colored glasses and seeing the world in a whole new light...it is cold and dark and well...I am invisible. I feel like I am walking and working and taking care of my family but yet without her I am invisible.
She thought everything I did was so great, she gave her love with no strings and I know that there will never be another who will love me like that.
My dad is just angry and never did treat her with love and respect so why would he now feel the same pain I am feeling? I am walking this pain alone and for now I have to find a way to accept this new world. So for now I pretend when I am out in the public but at home I cry every day. I know it will get better but Mom...I need you.

Comments for Losing My Mother...I have lost myself!

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Feb 21, 2013
Mother Lover

I too have lost my Mother Duck and myself. its only been 2 1/2 months and I can believe I am never to smell her motherly smell again - talk about the things only her and I talked about & tease her about her man loving ways.

I was lucky to have been able to be with her when she left this world, in my arms with my kisses on her face as she took her last breath. Just the same way she welcomed me in the world 44 years ago.

I don't fear aging if it means Ill be with her again one day.

by Mother Lover

Feb 15, 2013
by: Anonymous

Wow. Heaven is forever, as your love for her is forever. You will be with her forever.

Nov 18, 2012
You are wrote my story
by: Lee

I feel like you are writing about me. I too lost my Mom to Ovarian Cancer and like you my Mom was the Mom kind, positive, caring person that I ever knew. I miss my Mom and even if its been 6years the pain has never lessen. I learn to accept it all, but I can't seem to hurt less. There has and will always be an empty space in my heart. I know I will never be the same. I miss my Mom so much more and I wish she was here to enjoy life with me. All I can is just hang in there. How I cope is I try to be the best person I can be for my Mom. She is living through me and that's what keeps me going.

Dec 10, 2011
my mother is my best freind but I lost this freind
by: soma

I was very happy with my mom. she was my best freind. from my chilhood I know the only one person who undersatand everything about me may be right or wrong. I was share every thing with her. she was totaly differrent with other. when I was age of 8 or 9, she advised me," nobody help you if you are not able to live yourself in the world. so you think only about yoursel what should you do. I take care you for some time after that you may be alone. so you consent only your work may be study, job, song or dance. it is very important what you do today, its result tomorrow. what you get that only selected for you. if selected more its automatically come to you, otherwise not, for that don't anxiety.'"

this my mom, she was hardworker, she was good cook, student, wife, mother, freind, Philosopher every thing. But I lost my mom last July19 2010, when she came to me for my pregnency. never I fogive myself on deathof my mom.

Nov 01, 2011
I Lost my mom and now my right arm is gone.
by: Winston

I loved her I confided in her we both had a common bond together. I am a man who lived with my mom for 69 yrs. From my birth to her death we were both together. We did everything together, drank coffee together, went shopping together, watched tv together, ate dinner together. She fixed my lunch before I would go to work every morning during my work a day life. She did crossword puzzles she taught school she did everything for me, everything. And I miss her terribly. I am alone now in this house that we both lived in, I cannot go into her bedroom anymore because I can't do it, it makes me cry horribly. I don't know what I am going to do, What a terrible void I am facing, I hope I can go on without her. She died jul. 23rd 2011. She crocheted beautiful afgans. She did crosswords puzzles for her own enjoyment. My Dad died before her in 1985 after that we both lived together and I have always lived with my parents. I had a brother who committed suicide in 1982. How I miss her laugh her cute ways her sweetness to me always. So I to have lost myself. I never married and am a male.

Oct 01, 2011
missing mum too
by: nicki

my mum died on July 25 2011. She had dementia and I had been her carer for years. For a long time I would ask for the universe to be kind to her as it was difficult watching her deteriorate on a daily basis, losing her recognition of people/things and ability to do things. I watched her slowly die for months. I cried heaps for months. I was absolutely devastated when she died of heart failure, but knew she was finally at peace. I struggle and cry every day when I think of her or remember things she did with my children or myself. Hard to believe that I wont ever be able to give her a hug or have a cuppa with her. But I know she is at peace and not tormented anymore, that helps me to feel a little better. miss ya mum xx

Sep 27, 2011
by: K

I can't say much beyond what's been said already except that I know exactly how you feel... and I really need my Mum too. x

Sep 26, 2011
I lost my mother to Ovarian Cancer
by: Ilana

My mother passed away from Ovarian Cancer in May of 2010. Like you, by the time they discovered it, it was too late to treat it. She did go through three chemo treatments, but after the third treatment, she developed an infection and it took over her entire body and it was too late to save her. This was five months from the time she was diagnosed and she was only 68. It was so fast, that I didn't even get the chance to say goodbye to her.

I know how you feel and hopefully we can help each other through this!


Sep 24, 2011
Losing my mother
by: Pat J

I lost my mom 35 years ago on the 25th of June. She was 50 years old and I was 29; married with 5 children and my baby was 3 months old. My mom died the day before my 11th wedding anniversary. It is 35 years later and I miss her still. Five years ago in April of this year I lost my dad. I experienced the same amount of grief for my dad at age 83.
June 27th, it will be 3 months on September 27th, I lost my husband of 46 years, the day after our 46th wedding anniversary. This grief will never leave me; time will not heal this wound. I felt like we had the perfect life. Our wants were small, just being together was enough. Our children all grown with families of their own and I was so looking forward to spending retirement years with him. Unfortunately, God has a different plan. I don't know his plan for me yet, but I am just taking it one day at a time, faking it until I can make it.
We have a large family, yet I feel so alone.
When my mom died I thought that was the worst thing that could happen to me, she was my mother, but also my best friend.
My husband was my lover and my best friend and I feel lost. Life just sucks for me right now. That probably isn't true in the real world, but in my world right now that is how I feel.
Cherish all the memories that you have of your mom. She will always live in your heart. Even after 35 years, thoughts of my mom still bring tears.
Our loved ones walk beside us everyday. The sad thing is we can't see them, talk to them or feel their touch.
Prayer helps me alot and I ask my God and my husband to give me the strength that I need right now.
God bless you and know everyone at this site feels your pain.

Sep 24, 2011
Mom is gone!
by: Tony

My Mom died in February of this year, she was 85, I feel your sense of loss. It can be so hard at times. Just when I think I`m feeling better, everything returns. Remember this, your Mom loved you so much, it is hard, but it will get better. Unlike you I never married, or had children, life will get better eventually. huge hugs!

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