Losing My Other Half
Josh is the love of my life, and my other half. We dated all throughout high school and were high school sweethearts. We stayed together while we went to college and were living in different states. Our plans were to get married once I finish school, since I am a year younger.
Summer 2010 was the first summer we had ever been apart since we began dating. Josh was scheduled to leave for basic training at the end of August, so he was not able to come home for the summer.
On August 10, 2010, Josh was reported missing. I had been the last person to have contact with him on August 5, 2010. For 10 agonizing days, we waited for Josh to call someone just to let us know he was ok. People began speculating that he was scared to go into the military and that’s why he was missing, but I knew that wasn’t true because he was so excited to join the military, and proud to serve his country.
I was nervous, scared, and sad that I couldn’t physically help look for Josh since I was in a different state. On August 20, 2010 Josh was found. He had been involved in a single -car fatal accident. His car had gone down an embankment that was not easily visible from the street, which was why it took so long to find him. Finding him brought closure to one type of pain, the pain of not knowing where he was, but it opened up a whole new kind of hurt. The pain of losing the one person you love the most.
The grieving process has been a difficult one for me. Every morning when I wake up, I hope to finally awake from this nightmare I’m living. I was highly encouraged to return to school after this happened by people telling me that it would be good for me. It was something that I didn’t want to do. I wanted to stay home and be close to my family and the half of Josh’s family that lives near me. I go to school 8 hours away from home so going home often is not an option.
I feel like being at school doesn't give me the opportunity to grieve. I don’t want my parents to worry about me being upset at school, and I don’t want to make my friends uncomfortable because I’m upset. I feel so sad and lonely without him. I miss Josh more and more everyday. He is my best friend and my soul mate. I love him more than anything.