losing my second adult son

my 49 year old son died on March 24 of blood clots to the brain the effect of the chemo he was taking for a fast growing brain tumor. he was diagnosed may 15, 2009. he had just been divorced and umemployed so he had to live with me for at least 1/2 of these 3 years. I thought he had more time as the tumor was shrinking but we also knew the possibilities.
For me this is compounded because I lost a son Oct 27,2003 age 46 due to ALS who lived with me for 8 mos and then the next 6 months in a hospice facility.
I am 75 and was widowed in 1995 at age 58.
Very difficult to be losing my children, while I still live.
I have 4 other children, but I am now very afraid that I will see this repeated again in my life.

Comments for losing my second adult son

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Apr 24, 2012
by: Anonymous

All I can say is I AM SO SORRY. I pray for you to have strength to bear the losses. Don't give up. Take care of your self and be strong.
It is well

Apr 23, 2012
Living in the shadow of death
by: Anonymous

I lost my 20 year old son in January. I have 3 other children. I miss him with every cell in my body. This death is in my thoughts seemingly all the time, sometimes in the foreground and other times in the background. I live preoccupied with his death even though my other children are very much alive. I dutifully go about doing what I need to do but find no purpose, no pleasure, no satisfaction in it. I am not as affectionate with my other children as I should be and feel guilty that I don't have love for them in me because I am so missing their brother who is not here. Perhaps it is that fear that I might loose them too that makes me afraid of loving them so much. It seems that with my son's death I've lost the trust in the order of things and so I am wishing for the past and dreading each moment of the present and the future as they come. I so don't want to be me, then I read your postings and I don't want to be you. I am so sorry. One loss of a child is a vicious blow to a mother, a blow that torments the heart and spirit. How and why can you go through it twice? Oh, I am so sorry about the crosses that you have to carry. Be blessed.

Apr 23, 2012
by: Catherine K

I am so sorry and can truthfully say that I know how it feels to lose not one but two adult children. I lost my 26 yr old son in 1997 and my 42 yr old daughter just last November.
I know how unbearable the pain IS but I know that this is your pain and only you can suffer it.
We ask why these terrible things happen to us and I don't know the answer.
I am really sorry for your two losses and will say a prayer for you that you will start to feel better with time.
God bless you and you have my deep condolences.

Apr 23, 2012
Oh my Gosh, NO
by: rayolife

I am a single divorced 60 year old woman. I lost my wonderful 28 year old son 4 years ago, to a tragic senseless accident, the fault of a repeat DUI offender, who only served 8 days in jail! My older son is a drug addict, and I see him destroying his life before my eyes. I'm only living for him. If he dies, I will arrange for my death, also!

Apr 23, 2012
by: Anonymous

Very sorry to hear of your loss - losing one son is horrible, but losing two is beyond a pain that a mother has to go through...bless you.

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