Losing my son Aaron

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Losing my son Aaron

by Margaret
(schroeder)

My baby Aaron

How can i begin to grieve for my son? The circumstances surrounding his death has me very upset and angry. He was not alone when he died, someone was with him. And they let him die. The so-called friend of my son was a girl who spent the night with him, on March 24,2010. In the morning i woke up, to let the dogs out. She was standing outside of my son's room and said to me in a regular voice, "There's something wrong with Aaron". I shook him, I knew then he was dead. I yelled for my husband, he came in performed C.P.R. as I called the ambulance, they came and worked on him for an hour. Then they said, no need to rush to the hospital.

I asked the girl did you guys do drugs? She said no I'm on felony probation. The police took her to drug screen her; she dropped dirty for meth and heroin. So they put her in jail. The police got a search warrant for her phone they showed my husband and I, she was on her phone the night my kid died all night, calling a lot of people. So that there proves she knew when he died. She could have came got us. But no, she was scared.

I hope she will have to be held accountable for her actions, I don't know what my son died of yet, his cause is still pending. But if she had drugs in her system, more then likely that's what happened to my son I feel that's what happened. Thank you, Margaret

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Losing my son Aaron

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Our sons
by: Loretta

With compassion and grief- I comment on your story. My son, spent the night in my home, with a girl with whom he had over often- she was the last one to see him alive. She has not called, written, texted, or anything- since the funeral, to which she arrived late and had her cell phone ring during the service. On January 3, 2011, he was found him lifeless in his room. I was at work already, that first Monday after the New Year. The day everyone says they?re going to quit smoking, exercise, lose weight. Me included. But at 11:00 am, I called my fiancé who lives with us- and asked him to wake up my son. I?m on the phone as he?s banging on the door. I had a terrible feeling in my throat- I somehow muttered the words ?Break-down-the-door? slowly I said it- it didn?t even sound like my voice coming out of me. My fiancé asked if I was sure- that maybe he?d gone out- but again I said to break down that door. And so he did, and that?s when my entire world, my whole existence- changed. While I?m on the phone- I hear the heart wrenching scream coming from my fiancé, his crying and yelling- as he had dropped the phone to resuscitate my son. He returned to the phone begging me to come home- screaming ?he?s gone?.he?s gone?I have to call 911!? Those words- ?he?s gone? will never be forgotten. He had been gone for maybe an hour. My son was not a criminal; he kept violating probation, because of the heroin use. He would get caught with paraphernalia ? and the drug. Police would search him, and off he?d go. My blonde haired, blue eyed, little boy- with a home, a family, true and good friends who loved him, lovely pretty girls who pined for him, but all had to cut him loose until he straightened out. He was not a bad person; he was not a vicious person. I read the letters I wrote him while in jail, telling him his future is ahead and not to look back. That we wished he loved himself as much as we did- if he could only see himself through our eyes, just once?.He was such a handsome boy, so talented and so alive. Everyone loved him- despite his addiction. He?d lie to me and say everything was ok. A few times he?d steal from me. I knew it- I?d punish him, banish him from the house, went to tough love, Al-Anon, the whole nine yards. He was only 27 years old.

Shared anger and grief
by: Anonymous

Dear Margaret,
Hearing your story has been a blessing to me. I have been suffocated in a black hole of grief for nearly 4 years over the loss of my brother. He was 32 when he was found dead at a woman's house. This woman was also a schoolteacher, of all things. She reports that she drove to a hotel with him and waited in the car while he went in a room to meet some unknown people. He became lethargic on the drive home and she had to drive. He became worse by the time they got back to her house. She says he went to sleep when they arrived and she left him there the next morning because she could not wake him up.

She left to go teach children and knew that my brother had taken something and did not a thing to help him. When she completed her workday and returned home then she takes the time to call 911 because he was cold and blue. She was never held one bit accountable for knowingly leaving him like that. It angers me that my life was so devastated by all of this and her life just goes on.

She is a long time drug abuser and I truly believe she did not get help for him because she was under the influence too and was afraid of losing her job. To add insult she is constantly coming to the hospital where I work making everyone miserable with her drug seeking behavior and I have to deal with her. I cannot help but feel anger and hatred about this.

Reading your story was so healing and helpful for me. I feel like my life was forever changed and no justice has been done. Please take comfort in knowing your heartache has helped at least one person. Thank you.

Losing my only child
by: Sandy

I am so deeply sorry for the loss of your son. I know exactly what you are going through. My 32-year old daughter, Holly, died just two weeks ago, on September 5, 2010, from a heroin overdose, in an apartment full of people. She had been in rehab for the past 9 months and had been doing well. A moment of weakness took her life.

The detective investigating the case stated the people at the apartment she was at when this all took place, recognized the overdosed and "tried to help her" by walking her around, putting cold towels on her face, etc. Nowhere in their drug-saturated minds did it occur to anyone to bring her to the hospital. They decided to "let her sleep it off" and didn't bring her to the hospital until the next morning. She had been dead several hours.

As if the pain of losing your child isn't bad enough, the knowledge it may have been prevented is more than one can bear. I hope, somehow, you and I and others find a way to live with this. Right now, as I'm sure you still do, don't know how.

Sorrow
by: Jenny UK

My daughter died in similar circumstances last year and I'm still waiting for an inquest date. I know people were there and could have helped. I need to prove that SOMEONE was responsible and feel that I will NEVER get over her death without some kind of justice being done. I wish you all the love to get through your loss and hopefully I will too. Take care.

So needless
by: Anonymous

Dear Margaret,

My heart goes out to you in your pain from the loss of your precious son, Aaron. I hear the anguish in your words. Such needless heartache, right? I too, have why questions. My son was apparently alone when he took his own life. He was devastated by a breakup and suffered from depression.

As a young adult, he ran his own life, so how do parents get involved? I too, have anguished over the needlessness of loss. It will have been 5 years in 2 days. But years don't change much but time. We keep our children in our hearts and love them and remember the good times as best we can.

I have found that the peace God gives is the only thing that brings comfort to my heart. God knows all the answers and someday I will know them too and so will you. Until then, hold on my friend. Get release from pain with tears. Write to me if you like. I would love to correspond with you - impossiblejoy@yahoo.com. Blessings, G.

Shared Grief
by: Brenda

My 27 year old son Cody Lee Cole was found cold and unresponsive by his cousin, whom he lived with. May 21, 2010 he was pronounced dead and I got a knock on my door, only to open it and find a police officer. I was told to call Travis county about my son. I knew that he was either in jail or hurt and I guess the officer could see I did not quite know what to do so he offered to call the number on his cell for me. I do not think he wanted to leave me alone to get the news.

When they answered the phone on the other end I was told it was the coroners office and that my son was dead, I too am waiting for the results of the medical examiners' office. My son was sick. He was type 1 diabetic and had been in the hospital twice in 3 weeks but right now we do not know what took him. He had just been given some strong drugs by his pain management doctor just 2 days before, so that could have played a role. Not knowing makes the pain worse somehow. We want to know why. I feel your pain and want you to know that when I pray for God to give me strength I will pray for you, Aarons' mother.

I'm for your lost
by: miya

I lost my son Feb 28 2010, he was four months old and I feel your pain. Hang in there and pray and hope u get justice for the death of your son.

I am so sorry
by: Anonymous

It is so heartbreaking, I cannot imagine the pain you are going through. I hope she is held accountable for manslaughter. He was a very nice looking young man. May he rest in peace.

Condolences
by: Anonymous

Margaret, my condolences on the loss of your son Aaron. I can't believe this woman was in your home and allowed your son to die. Even if she was scared, that is no excuse not to call for help. She obviously was off her rocker and hopefully one day she will realise what she did was wrong. This in its own will probably eat her away. May you find comfort in the happy memories you had with your son.

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Losing my son Aaron