Losing my Twin sister 3 years ago

by Gavin
(Birmingham uk)

I was pretty hardened to deaths in the family, losing my eldest brother to suicide when I was 16 then my father 4 years ago..I am 47, and my twin sister had a very hard and difficult time coping with my fathers death, they were very close.She had trouble with alcohol and indeed struggled to overcome her addiction.We were very close and throughout our lives remained so no matter where we were.I lost her 3 years ago, from a brain haemorrhage suddenly.The family were advised not to see her prior to her funeral as she had been dead a few days when she was found.I never saw her before her funeral, and I didn't really grieve.I now have suddenly found myself thinking about her more and more...it is awful..it is a pain like no other and I wonder if it will get easier, as it really seems to be getting more difficult.

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Jun 28, 2013
Losing my Twin sister 3 years ago
by: Doreen U.K.

Gavin I am sorry for your loss of your brother, father, and twin sister. As you say one does harden themselves to death and losing loved ones but it is difficult losing so many close family that we bond with. It is not easy to heal from. If you didn't grieve well the loss of your brother, and father this would cause an overlap of grief that is triggered off from you now losing your sister. Don't forget also this was your TWIN. She shared the womb with you. You can't get closer than that. You are expected to feel sorrow and deep emotional pain. But you have extra grief also from your loss of a sister. You could benefit from seeing a grief counsellor at CRUSE. They are trained and could assist you through your pain and sorrow. This pain of grief is like no other pain one feels. Somehow emotional pain is so difficult to cope with and when it comes from our core it is even worse. The healing is also slower.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 14 months ago. I lost my mother 10yrs. ago and thought I had grieved this loss but it was triggered more when my husband died and so now I think of my mother more and miss her in a way I didn't after she died. I don't think we will ever know if we have quite grieved our losses. Somehow further down the years something could trigger off a memory and then we seem to suffer the pangs of fresh raw grief. Grief which is mostly crying is somehow good to express because this is how we HEAL. As the saying goes We feel better after a good cry. It seems to wash away our pain and sorrow till the next time. Gavin I hope that you have good supportive friends and perhaps other relatives to help you walk this road of grief as it does help immensely. I had such support at the beginning and I can feel the benefits.

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