losing the love of my life

by cindy
(kentucky)

my beloved husband died unexpectedly 15 months ago. We were married over 30 years no children , we were so close each others best friends, people admired our love story. He was loved by his employees and the community it was a great shock to so many. I had to do things backwards, sell house etc. move back to my home state and deal with the painful grieving. I'm now in my new home and things have calmed down to the pace that the grieving has hit me hard again, I'm lost without the love of my life my heart fills like their is nothing left to break. I feel hopeless and lost without him, don't think I can reel myself back to normal----- I'm broken and will never be whole again. I miss my sweet darling mike. I have little support from my family but, his family is a GODSEND.

Comments for losing the love of my life

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Sep 26, 2014
Missing My Special Man
by: Elaine

I do so sympathize with you. I lost my special man after almost 30 years together 18 months ago to lung cancer. It is so difficult, I cry every day & relive every awful moment that he went through. After surviving cancer myself 10 years ago and also suffering my only son go through bowel cancer at aged 32 I am so devastated that so many people worldwide feel so helpless to this awful disease. I have done the Race for Life for the past 10 years, raising money for Cancer Research UK. Every little helps. Be strong and with love we will survive; thinking of you all. Love to you all. xxx

Sep 07, 2014
Deepest sympathy
by: Lawrence

Hi,Cindy,
Losing a loved one is perhaps the worst thing that can ever happen in one’s life, the pain and overwhelming anguish is so hard to live with, but live with it we must.
I lost a very precious wife on Christmas Day 2012, in the blink of an eye, one minute talking the next dying.
Within a couple of hours I was closing her eyes, saw her take her last breath, kissed her goodbye and thanking her for an exquisite seventy years of love and passion, and then I walked away from the only girl I had ever kissed or loved.
It’s nearly twenty months and I am still heartbroken and not a day goes by without shedding a tear, but I decided that I had to fill my days and not stay in the house and weep.
I lead a frantic life now, leaving as little time as possible to think of my dreadful loss, I play bridge, write novels, compose music, but not love songs anymore, have violin lessons and many more activities, but I still come back to a cold lonely house which I will never get used to.
You have joined a web site of people also suffering,, but somehow it helps to know you are not alone, it certainly helped me when I was so bereft.
This tunnel of grief has an end and there is light at the end, you just have to be patient and wait for your body and spirit to accept he has gone.
When you can look at his photograph without your eyes welling with tears then you will know the healing has started.
With deepest sympathy.
Lawrence

Sep 06, 2014
Losing the love of my life
by: Pat J.Green Bay,WI

Dear Cindy,
Many of us on this site can relate to you quite well. We feel like our world has shattered and we feel like this awful ache in our heart will never go away. A part of us died along with our spouse. We may have alot of people around us, yet we feel so alone.
This is a painful journey we are all on. There are many days when it is hard to just get out of bed each morning; wishing we could just hide from the rest of the world. The tears just seem to appear out of nowhere any time and that awful ache in our heart hurts so much.
It was 3 years for me on June 27th; I lost the love of my life. We were married 46 years on June 26, 2011. He died from a massive heart attack sitting on the side of our bed at 12:10 a.m. on the 27th of June. I remember it like it was yesterday.
Often I told myself, I was faking it until I could make it. I am amking it. I still miss Red each and everyday. I still talk to him everyday. I will always have this ache in my heart for him. I have 5 adult children and 8 grandchildren and his family still includes me in family get togethers. We had one just last night, as his mom turned 94 and w all visited with her and went out to eat afterward. They all go home with their spouses and I still go home alone. His mom has been a widow for 42 years. She now has Dementia and doesn't know any of our names, but she tells us she knows us, but can't remember our names. Thar disease is so terrible. She told me from day one, my life is forever changed and boy, is she right about that.
I want my old life back, but I know that isn't going to happen. I just take it one day at a time and cherish each day. I ask my God to guide me and show me the way.
A support system is so important and for me being with other widows who really understand, who really get it, helps me. I keep active. My chidren are glad I keep myself so busy, as I am retired now. I retired last January. I was a little hesitant, but I don't regret it. I do have less money, but, the more we have, the more we spend.
Take care of yourself and just take it one day at a time. We never get over losing them, but we do slowly learn how to go on without them. They are tucked safely in our heart.

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