Loss of a boyfriend, fiance and bestfriend of 10 years

by Tammy
(Hickory Hills, IL)

Sadly my boyfriend, fiancé and best friend of 10 years passed away August 31, 2013 at the age of 48. He died of lung cancer. Everything happened so quick. He had been sick with pneumonia and went to the Dr. That’s when everything went downhill with bad news. The diagnosis was stage 4. I felt so numb and it was just killing me not being able to take this disease from him and make him okay. He was so determined to beat it and just couldn’t. He was a good man and will be missed every day. I felt like I died with him. My days are of loss and just sad every day. I find myself questioning my faith. Why would this happen to such a good man when there are so many evil people out there.

Comments for Loss of a boyfriend, fiance and bestfriend of 10 years

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Nov 06, 2013
Grieving lost
by: Anonymous

I'm sorry for your lost and will pray for you. But I know what your going through my boyfriend of five years past in sept 18 2013. We know he had heart problems but this just happen out of the blue. And now that he's gone I don't know what to do, I'm alright one minute and then I'm crying. We were getting married and now I'm all alone. I have started blaming anyone, or question my faith. But the sadness I fell is going to drive me crazy. I have lost alot of people close to me from father to grandparents. But this fells so different to me. My mother says she understands what I'm going through and she does because she lost her husband. But I don't want to put my burdens on her. So I kind of keep it to myself. And just cry when I fell like it. I don't care if I'm at work or at home. I have that right. But the shock and pain still wont go away and I don't know if it ever will.

Oct 10, 2013
My Husband of 20 plus years
by: Doreen UK

Melissa I am sorry for your loss of your husband to a sudden death.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. 17 months ago to cancer. I nursed him for over 3yrs. He died a slow painful death. Just as you say. It happens to other people. I used to ponder on this and at times look at my husband and think. "I hope I never lose him." " I don't know what I will do without him in my life." It is still very hard to believe he has gone. I have more unsettling days now when the full reality of my loss hits me now and then. I also hate this time of year. My husband loved Christmas. He loved putting up the Christmas lights. He was such a hard worker as a carpenter working all over the world and our country. He worked 6 days a week most of his life but sometimes 7 days. I saw little of him and looking forward to his retirement. But he died before he could enjoy this time of his life. Life is so lonely without him now.
It has only been 3 weeks ago that you have lost your husband. You will have some rough days ahead. The secret is taking only ONE DAY AT A TIME. Even after 17 months. I still take one day at a time and it has been better doing this. I feel healing is taking place and I am coping. But I do miss him so much it still hurts. This is the worst hurt in one's life. I hope you have supportive family and friends to help you through this loss.

Oct 09, 2013
MY HUSBAND OF 20 PLUS YEARS
by: MELISSA

I JUST LOST MY HUSBAND 3 WEEKS AGO SUDDENLY, NO WARNINGS NO NOTHING. HE WAS MY FRIEND, MY LOVE. WE WERE MARRIED FOR 20 PLUS YEARS WITH 4 CHILDREN. I COULD NOT BELIEVE IT WHEN THE DOCTOR SAID HE WAS GONE. I WAS IN SHOCK, HOW COULD THIS BE HAPPENING. THINGS LIKE THIS DONT HAPPEN TO ME, TO US. YOU ONLY HEAR OF THIS ON THE NEWS OR THROUGH SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS SOMEONE. HE WAS A GREAT PERSON, HUSBAND AND FATHER. MY HEART ACHES FOR HIM A DEEP DOWN ACHE THAT I CAN NOT EXPLAIN. IM HURT FOR ME AND WHEN I LOOK AT THOSE KIDS OF MINE I HURT FOR THEM. I NEVER HAD A FATEHR AND NOW THEIR WONDERFUL FATHER IS NO LONGER WITH US.

Oct 09, 2013
Loss of a boyfriend, fiance and best friend of 10 years.
by: Doreen UK

Tammy I am sorry for your loss of your fiancé to this devastating disease of Cancer. You are in the early stages of grief and express all the same feelings and emotions I did. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to Lung cancer caused by working with asbestos. He cut this and the dust caused a slow growing tumour over 40 years which is always terminal. Incurable, and inoperable. I cared for him for 3yrs.39days and he died 17 months ago. After the funeral and tying up all the paperwork I took to the couch and let TV. and God T.V. nurture me through my sorrow. My body was shattered with grief and so I couldn't do anything. I lost my motivation to go on each day. But I persevered ONE DAY AT A TIME. I found is the secret to coping with grief. Within 6 months I started to get some motivation back and started doing only one job a day and altered this if I had to. one job became two jobs a day. I was in control so I did only what I needed to. I used oven food also for most of the 6 months. I am now coping better with life. I found that if I NURTURED myself by doing special things for myself each day and surrounding myself with flowers which was my treat. I started to feel better. I also found that if I looked at a funny movie or a picture that made me smile. It all helped. but you must build on this each day. Don't let it slip. You will be building yourself up. I also found I was left a gift after my loss. I had my FREEDOM. To do what I wanted, even if it was NOTHING till I was able to decide. My children are all Adults and I have retired from work so I have no major commitments. I still enjoyed my life the way it was and didn't want to change a thing. But since I can't alter what has happened I am going to use my gift of FREEDOM, how I want to. I put new things into my day and my life. I am now beginning to find life a pleasure. But I still MISS my beloved husband MORE than life. You will find life horrible for many months, but taking ONE DAY AT A TIME helps so much. I still have grief days where a memory or anything I read in someone else's post will trigger off crying and I grieve again. This will be on going for some time. Crying is the biggest part of grief. I always feel better after a good cry. The hardest part is re-structuring one's life again. It will take some time for you to decide what you want to do with your life. But take your time. Don't rush into a new relationship on the rebound from grief. Give yourself the time and space to recover from grief and this is different for everyone. You can't put a timetable on grief. You will have good days and bad days. Don't sink into despair on the bad days. Allow them to come and then nurture yourself back each day. I hope you have supportive family and friends to help you through this difficult time.

Oct 09, 2013
Mandy
by: Anonymous

I know the pain you are feeling, i went thru the same thing 3 weeks ago. My husband 48 died of heart attack. No warning at all. Its like im in a bad movie and the days are the same and i just want to rewind this back so i could have warned him to go to the Dr's. Im here if you want to communicate as like you, im lost without my soulmate, lover, best friend

Oct 08, 2013
Appreciation
by: Tanvi

You are very strong.

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