Loss of Husband 3 months ago

by Mariana

As of 2-22-10 it will be 3 months since my husband went to be with Lord. I think of him all the time and how much he suffered with that heart failure. I sure do miss him and so do the kids and grandkids.

Life has to go on and it has not been easy by any means. Only my faith pulls me through.
I am making progress too. I took over my husband's position as manager here at the complex and also have to take care of the units we own. He used to do that. I have great tenants so am blessed that way.

As for the way I feel, I realize I am still in the healing process, a sort of depressed stage but then when I feel like that I thank God for the years we had together.

My 16 yr old grandaughter said there has been "paranormal activity" around here; such as "grandpa's cologne permeating the air" and "grandpa's chair rocking by itself". As for the cologne, it baffled me why the scent would only be where I was sitting or lying down.

I called the grief pastor the funeral home sent, and he said these are not paranormal activities but that the olfactory nerves are heightened (and other senses) during the grief process. He said that my husband had been such a part of my life and sometimes these things happen. The grandkids were not at all frightened, but feel that grandpa is just visiting from heaven.

Time passes and little by little healing is taking place. I am sorry my husband did not get to see the new Dec 30th grandson. He absolutely adored the kids.

Next month my daughter, son-in-law and the grandkids are going to Moreno Valley for a sweet sixteen bithday party for a grandaughter, and we will do something for the grandson who is turning 16. It will be the first event I have attended since my husband passed and I probably need it as my life has been working the 2 jobs and church activities.

My life has become a mixture of joy and sorrow. Sorrow losing my husband and joy because of God's provision and caring people who have stood by me.
I look at my husband's picture and tell him he will always be the love of my life. I never knew I could love someone so much.

Comments for Loss of Husband 3 months ago

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Feb 24, 2010
For Tammy
by: Anonymous

Tammy, my heart goes out to you for the loss of your dear husband. I can imagine all that he went through. It is sad to see the people we love suffer. This is the time to cling to the promises made in the Bible that we will see our loved ones again. It is a lonely time for us and only time can heal us. Your children can be a source of great comfort too.

I feel as you do. I watched my husband get sicker and sicker and go downhill fast. He adored the grandchildren and missed out on seeing the new baby that came on Dec 30th. He would have loved that little guy as he had a real love for the grandchildren.

I am missing him more and more but am so busy with the 2 jobs. On Wed night when I attend church I will praise God for having blessed me with such a person. My love for him was real.
I am glad I have Jesus to pull me through this, wonderful children and grandchildren. I also have my mother who is almost 84.

My prayers are with you. May God comfort you. Someday you will be reunited in a much better place.

Feb 22, 2010
Sorry for your loss
by: Tammy

I came across this website by accident and started to read some stories and yours just popped out, because I lost my husband of 16 years to heart failure. He had a massive heart attack in Feb 09 and was flown to Albuquerque where he had double bypass surgery and a mitral valve replacement. Doctors gave him a 20% chance of surviving. He pulled through and had to go to another hospital to get weaned off the ventilator. After that hospital he had to go to rehab hospital. He was in the hospitals for 2 1/2 months.

He had circulation problems due to his heart attack and in June had to have half of each foot amputated. He was pretty down about that. He was then in and out of hospitals til November. He went to see the cardiologist on Dec 2 and he said everything was good. Well early the next morning, I found him on the couch gone.

It has been such a hard time for me, wish I could be as strong as you. Days I don't think I can go on but I have our kids to think about. He was so upset having missed our grand-daughters first birthday in Nov due to the fact he was in the hospital. Now he has missed our grandsons first birthday because he passed away on his birthday.

I miss him so much but know he is no longer in pain. My kids and I are doing a walk-a-thon for the American Heart Assoc. in his memory. His birthday was on Saturday and it was a very hard day without him.

God Bless you and your family.

Feb 21, 2010
For Sandy
by: Anonymous

Thank you Sandy for your kind words. They mean alot to me.

I realize that for some people it may take longer than for others. I would say that in such a situation as you and I are in, suffering our loss that it is really important to have Jesus because if you have Jesus, he will help you day by day.
Please feel free to express what you are feeling because I really do care.

In my own case, I have so many grandchildren and children who stand by me, plus co-workers and my church.

I can tell you that I miss my husband when it rains. I used to hope he was warm and comfortable at work. When the sun shines I also miss him. It does not take much to miss him.

I turn to God and ask him to bring me through another day and to show me who needs encouragement and to let his love show through me.

Anyway, you sound like a wonderful person and I hope to hear from you again. God bless you and keep you in his loving care.

Feb 19, 2010
by: Sandy

I am so impressed with you. My husband died last March and I am not nearly that far along. I so admire your strength and faith. You are truly an inspiration.

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