Loss of Husband 3 months ago
As of 2-22-10 it will be 3 months since my husband went to be with Lord. I think of him all the time and how much he suffered with that heart failure. I sure do miss him and so do the kids and grandkids.
Life has to go on and it has not been easy by any means. Only my faith pulls me through.
I am making progress too. I took over my husband's position as manager here at the complex and also have to take care of the units we own. He used to do that. I have great tenants so am blessed that way.
As for the way I feel, I realize I am still in the healing process, a sort of depressed stage but then when I feel like that I thank God for the years we had together.
My 16 yr old grandaughter said there has been "paranormal activity" around here; such as "grandpa's cologne permeating the air" and "grandpa's chair rocking by itself". As for the cologne, it baffled me why the scent would only be where I was sitting or lying down.
I called the grief pastor the funeral home sent, and he said these are not paranormal activities but that the olfactory nerves are heightened (and other senses) during the grief process. He said that my husband had been such a part of my life and sometimes these things happen. The grandkids were not at all frightened, but feel that grandpa is just visiting from heaven.
Time passes and little by little healing is taking place. I am sorry my husband did not get to see the new Dec 30th grandson. He absolutely adored the kids.
Next month my daughter, son-in-law and the grandkids are going to Moreno Valley for a sweet sixteen bithday party for a grandaughter, and we will do something for the grandson who is turning 16. It will be the first event I have attended since my husband passed and I probably need it as my life has been working the 2 jobs and church activities.
My life has become a mixture of joy and sorrow. Sorrow losing my husband and joy because of God's provision and caring people who have stood by me.
I look at my husband's picture and tell him he will always be the love of my life. I never knew I could love someone so much.