Loss of husband 7 months ago yesterday

by Mari
(California)

Yesterday was a most difficult day for me and depressing. I woke up as sick as I have ever been, and miss my viejo so much. I went to the doctor and am due for a checkup. My sorrow was so intense and I think that made me get sick. My doctor understands as he treated my husband when he had so much going on.

I went to my daughter's house and that precious 18 mo old little girl said,''Hi Gamma,' 'and she wrapped her arms around me. My daughter from LA called and said she would be here for a week by July 3rd to be with me. I asked her to stay 2 weeks and she said okay.

Yesterday one of my sons turned 36 and I could not ask for more in a son who loves God so much. He is in Texas.

There seems to be sorrow mixed with joy on every turn.

I still have June 25 to get through, as my husband would have been 71. My 12 yr old grandaughter said,''Don't worry Grandma. I will be with you.''

Tonight is church and I sure do need to be there. I took my tithes and offering from my acct and am ready to go. I invited a tenant who speaks only Spanish and I told her my church is fully bi-lingual.It makes me happy that she wants to go.

I have a new hobby now and that is plants. This hobby is such fun and I have some of the tenants all enthused. I gave away 3 plants yesterday and am growing more to give away. My boss grew a jade for me and presented me with it. It gives me something to laugh about as I see my home taking on a jungle like appearance and more interaction with the tenants.

My husband used to be amazed at my plant collection but eventually I gave up on it as he got too sick and I became a care giver. Now I am enjoying it again.
Anyway this too shall pass. My question is,''Why do I miss him more instead of less?'' It is truly sad to be longing for someone whom is not coming back but I will see him in heaven. I suppose everyone feels this way.