Loss of husband
by MaryAnne
(California)
I am giving an update on how I am coping since the loss of my husband. It will be 4 months on March 22.
I miss him something terrible. I think about him all the time.
I pray a lot. One day while driving I was asking God to let me know how much my husband loved me. A feeling of love filled my being and I realized that I was feeling the love he had for me as well as my love for him.I said, "Thank you Lord".
I have made some changes here. I bought a little table with a lamp attached and placed it beside "grandpa's chair". I also made changes to our room and it looks pretty. The thought that came to me when I finished the room changes was, "My husband would like this room". He always made a fuss over my decorating and would grab me in a big hug and say,"Sweetheart, you did all that? That looks beautiful".
I had some rough moments doing the taxes by myself. I realized I was truly on my own now. It wasn't a good feeling. But I always ask God to help me get through these things and to help me do a good job like my husband always did. It is the same running the complex too. I tend to the needs of the people here promptly as he did. He always said that taking care of the needs of our tenants would encourage them to stay here a long time. I call the same people he did for any repairs needed. He was sure respected and well liked.
The grandchildren seem to be doing well and they talk about him a lot, remembering his kindness and generosity.
I am realizing that I will always miss him but I stay busy and it sure helps. I realize that I have to go on for whatever reason God wants and I realize the sad times are part of the healing process. I am thankful for the love we shared.