loss of husband

by Mari
(Reedley California)

My husband went to be with the Lord 4 years ago today.I feel sad but I knew he did not have long to live. He had a heart attack and was in the hospital and then was taken to Fresno to have stents put in his heart.I remember feeding him at the hosp after the stents were put as he had to lie flat. He seemed better. My birthday was on Nov 20 and I went to my daughters house nearby and had cake and brought my husband a small piece.He was eating small amounts of food.My doctor checked him and he prescribed a lot of meds for him.
He passed away in his sleep shortly after.
I woke up and found him and my heart was aching.The local police were wonderful and caring. My mother flew in from Washington, all my children were here and many grandchildren.My husband lavished love on the grandchildren and they adored him.Every time a new baby came he was overjoyed. We got 3 new grandchildren in Feb 94 and my husband was beside himself with joy.We loved going places with the 3 babies. They are grown now and working.More babies came over the years and filled my husband with joy and now total 19.
Since then a great grand daughter has arrived and she is 2 and I think how my husband would have loved her.Her name is Aubree Dakota Vasquez and she will soon be dedicated to the Lord in my church. My husband is in a picture from when the others were dedicated.I thank God for all 19 of my grandchildren and how they loved my husband.
God is good. I am thankful for the love we shared and the happy years.God gave me my joy back again and the love of my church brothers and sisters. My birthday was celebrated in church Nov 20th. I still miss my husband but have the Lord and know I will see my husband again and he will not be sick. I had a dream and Jesus was standing there and myself and my husband and there were clouds and a beautiful blue sky. My husband looked well. Thankyou Jesus for that comforting dream.

Comments for loss of husband

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Nov 27, 2013
for anonymous
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for your loss and the way you are feeling. I know that God has said that be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. In due time you will see him again. I had a rough couple of years.Church helped and the love of family and friends. I still cannot sleep on my husband's side of the bed.I bought a new bed and still can't.I changed all the furniture in the house except for his chair known as ''Grandpa's chair.''It was a gift from me to him.
The grandchildren missed him for a long time and they still speak of him.I will always miss him.Sometimes the memories come up and I wish he was here.He always made a fuss over my birthday and we always went out to eat.He was so family oriented. Everyone mattered to him. My mother adored him Take care of yourself and keep posting. Time is a great healer and God will help you. We care for you. God bless you.

Nov 27, 2013
sending comfort
by: Anonymous

I lost my love earlier this year to similar event. After reading your entry I began to cry like a baby. So heartbreaking he had a bite of your birthday cake---why is life like this for us now? This is what I imagine would have happened to me but my husband never made it to help. He may have survived the ambulance, maybe even initial help but I know now it would have ended in such a heartbreaking manner. It just tears me apart to read. No words can express my sorrow for you. I don't know how anyone does this?

Nov 27, 2013
hardest thing you'll ever do
by: Anonymous

I am glad your faith is a comfort to you. my poor sweet husband suffered the same fate as yours. I cried my head off reading your post and I hope you feel the comfort you deserve and need to get through. When I lost my love, I LOST EVERYTHING and I am all alone. We were best friends who lived for each other. I just know he was called too soon. Sure heaven could always use another angel but heaven could have waited. Peace to our dear husbands.

Nov 26, 2013
for Doreen
by: Mari

Thankyou Doreen for your kind words and understanding. In due time you will feel healing. It just seems to take a long time. But God is the healer and will be with you all the way.
My children posted a pic of my husband on Facebook. They did not forget and that means a lot.The grandchildren always knew they could hit up Grandpa for extra money. He never refused. Those were his babies too.
I have 2 very nice large pics of my husband and I together.One of my granddaughters is in one and she was just a little girl then and now has her own baby.
I treasure the memories. One memory in particular was a new baby in Moreno Valley where one of my sons lives. It rained all the way and we had to take an alternate route. I have a pic of my husband holding that baby who is now 22 years old. The time passes and healing starts to take place. I will always miss him. He is safe now and out of pain.Keep up the faith. Mari

Nov 25, 2013
Anonymous MI
by: Mari

My heart goes out to you for the way you are feeling. I went to my pastor and he prayed with me to receive the joy I had lost. That is what I am going to pray for in your behalf. You will find that little by little you will heal.The grieving time is so difficult and seems takes a long time.
Having a pet can be helpful. My granddaughter gave me a her cat.Having the responsibility of caring for her makes me feel better.Animals offer unconditional love.
Church activities are rewarding too. I love the food giveaways and am a greeter at church I help in food prep for special events.I give testimonies. It all helps.Keep posting. We care for you. Mari

Nov 25, 2013
for Doreen
by: Mari

Doreen I am very sorry for your loss. I can honestly tell you that time is a great healer. There may always been some sadness at times and adjustments to make . The first year was awfully hard for me and I did some strange things. I could not always think straight.Eventually after much prayer I started healing. One thing I did was that while in Fresno I started to press the onstar button to let my husband know where I was.I always had. Then I realized what I was doing, things like that.I also had a lot of business to take care of and had to get help from my tax people. The grandchildren were missing him and grieving.It was the love of family and church that helped me get through.My 87 year old mother was an awesome source of encouragement.She still is.I changed jobs 3 years ago and am very happy with the one I have. My faith helped me get through. My prayers are with you.A day at a time. God bless you. Keep posting. Mari

Nov 25, 2013
for Doreen
by: Mari

I am very sorry for the loss of your husband Doreen. It has not been very long and you need more time. The grieving process is different for everyone, Your husband is in God's care and keeping.In due time you will heal. It is important that you continue to stay busy as you have been. I can sure understand how you must feel about your husband not getting to see the 2 grandchildren. I feel the same way about my little great granddaughter.I can just picture my husband bragging about a new baby.
We who have suffered such a loss know what you are going through.Time helps. It is a great healer.I feel better but will always miss my husband. Remember we are here for you and we care how you feel.Keep posting. It helps to have people to talk to. God bless you. Mari

Nov 25, 2013
for anonymous MI
by: Mari

I am terribly sorry for the grief you are feeling. I completely understand as I went through it. May God be with you and bring you comfort. You need more grieving time as a year is not very long.It is sad indeed that your husband did not get to see the 2 grandchildren.I feel the same way about my great grandbaby, Aubree.
You are staying busy and that is good. Just take things a day at a time. Ask God to help you through each day. We are here for you and care how you feel. I still have some difficult moments such as mail coming for my husband. I got the post office to help me put a stop to that.It is little things that make me sad. But I am thankful I had him. Take care of yourself. Time is a great healer. Keep posting what is on your mind and heart. Mari

Nov 23, 2013
Loss of our husbands
by: Anonymous--MI

Mari and Doreen---thank you both for your comments. My husband died one year ago and the devastation and heartache is still so strong. I miss him more today than I have over the passed year. I keep busy and try to help others and keep involved with my kids and grandkids who are a blessing to me. But, I am very sad and so lonely for my wonderful husband of 43 yrs--no one and nothing can ever fill his place in my life and a huge void is now in my heart and life. My hope is in the Lord who will, one day, take me to heaven also to see the face of Jesus Christ and worship Him and then to see my husband, the love of my life. God is my only hope of ever having joy again. God bless you both and may your days be gentle to you both and all on this site you are grieving.

Nov 23, 2013
loss of husband
by: Doreen UK

Mari I am sorry for your loss of your husband 4 years ago. I lost my husband of 44yrs. to cancer 18 months ago and I feel my sorrow every day as a day does not go by when I don't have some memory of him. He had a deadly cancer caused by working with asbestos and he died slowly over 3yrs. I was his caregiver and had a horrible cancer journey with him. My comfort was nurturing myself for 6 months. and watching the God Channel TV. There was always some sermon or Spiritual music to lift my Spirits and help me through each day. I also took one day at a time, I learned from this site. Each day is a challenge but the loss of a spouse is so devastating going on in life alone and without the support one needs. My husband was 65yrs. and still had more living to do as he had just retired and did not get this time which belonged to him. Now he will miss his 2 grandchildren and not have the joy that I see. My heart aches when I feel what he is missing. He was such a beautiful spirit and looking forward to living his retirement and all the Christmas's now will have to be done on our own. Life will never be the same for any of us who has lost a spouse. It is not easy building up one's life as we get older. Having God in one's life and the Church support does help immensely and looking forward to the return of Jesus when we will see our beloved husband again. This is the Hope that helps us live on each day. May God continue to cover you with his love and the Church support help you each day to live with Comfort and Peace.

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