Loss of my beautiful 32 year old son on 12/14/2011

by Sharon
(Redondo Beach, CA)


I lost my son on 12/14/11. At 18 he had been diagnosed with Osteosarcoma and had undergone several chemo rounds and surgeries leaving in him pain. As time went on he became addicted to a lot of pain meds and started mixing them. In September 2011 he admitted himself in a rehab program and was doing great so I thought, but on 12/14/2011 his step dad and I found him deceased on the floor of his place he rented. The coroner said he had been gone most likely 6 days. This grief is something that is undescrible. I do have a daughter who is 5 years clean and sober and two grandkids. I go to sleep missing him and wake up missing him. He was my constant. I was always worried about his health etc.

Any positive sharing would be appreciated.

Comments for Loss of my beautiful 32 year old son on 12/14/2011

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Jan 19, 2014
I also lost my son at 32
by: Anonymous

Where is the normal in life now? I feel all of your pain as I begin a journey of realizing my son will never be in the family portrait again~ his two beautiful sons will never really know their dad, how can they? one is 12 and the other 8? I lost my baby on Oct. 13, 2013, I am so glad that year is over! He went to work at a brand new job that he had landed, was so proud that he had, and was excited about getting home to his family and girlfriend, unfortunately he fell asleep at the wheel of his truck around 2:30pm and drifted off the road, he never hit the brakes ( someone following him reported)It's been 3 months for those of you who want to know how long this takes, my vote is until we are done here on earth. he was my only son, his 5 sisters miss him terribly!I am devastated and don't know how all of you keep writing!

Mar 30, 2012
I too feel your pain
by: Brenda

I lost my handsome 32 year old son Saturday March 17 2012, to a Motorcycle accident.at 2.30pm my life changed as I know it, it will never be the same.when I found out he had bought a motorcycle I got so upset I knew just looking at it that that was what was going to kill my son! I ask him if he was licensed ?, wore a helmet? and he said yes to both questions, then after the accident I found out that he did neither. through inexperience the tire hit some gravel and no helmet he came around a curve and hit a car head on and died at the scene. I will never forget my husband walking up to me with this look in his eyes and I knew, I just lost it I wanted to die too ,I wanted God to take me right then and there I have never felt so much physical pain in my life. he has 2 brothers 28 and 9.
MY son was a loving husband and wonderful father to 6 children ages 15 to 17 months.My heart just breaks for them. everyone keeps telling me it will get better, it will get easier, well right now I don't think it will ever get better, or easier, all I know is a part of me died on March 17, and I just don't know how to go on without him in my life. I know I have to for my 9 year old and my 28 year old who is also married and has 5 children.I just feel so empty and lost. I cant look at his picture without feeling like someone punched me in the stomach, I tried watching the videos he sent me one of his youngest daughters birthday and almost thought I was going over the short ledge I feel I am already on. I miss him more then I ever thought was possible.I am going tomorrow to put flowers on his grave April 3, he would have been 33. Never in my life did I ever think I would be going through this.. I know at that minute when he was riding he was having the best time of his life. and I was told that 4 people appeared at the accident and were praying for him and his best friend was with him when he took his last breath . I am praying and asking God to give me the strength to just get through one minute at a time.I am going to try and find a support group. I wish I could just have 1 more time with him just to hug and kiss his sweet face. I will forever miss my beautiful son but I have 5 grandchildren that he loved so dearly and I found out my daughter in law donated his organs so I pray somewhere out there he is helping someone have a life. God Bless each and every one of you that are walking the same path I am , It's just one day at a time. Brenda

Jan 06, 2012
another mom
by: Anonymous

I lost my beautiful son on 8/9/10. He died from complications of leukemia. He was only 23 years old. It has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. I'm 17 months out now and find that I have some easier days but there are a couple of things I do that really help:
1. Journal - I write to him and I write down every memory
2. I belong to some facebook groups - The Compassionate Friends, Grieving Mothers, Christian Grieving Mothers, Parents of Children who died of Cancer...
3. I attend monthly meetings of The Compassionate Friends. The other parents are in the same situation and they "get" it.....
Just remember: You can get through this one step, one breath at a time....
Shirley - mom of Dimitri 7/13/87 to 8/9/10

Jan 05, 2012
Understand
by: Christine

I am deeply sorry for your loss!! My son died on 6/2/11. He had an injury and died of a pulmonary embolism, he was 36yrs old. He was the joy of my life! Judging by the great pic of you and your son, you were very close!! It's so un-natural to bury a child! No matter at what age, they are ALWAYS UR children! It's just against the natural order of things!! It's been 7months and 3 wks, and hasn't gotten any easier. I stay as busy as I can and with family and friends helps! I have 2 friends who also lost their son's and it's a bond we have. It's a "club" you wd never want to be a part of!!! You have my deepest sympathy! I do believe he is watching over me and believe that one day we will be together again!! This site really helps, it helps to be able to share with others like you who know the pain of the loss we share!! God Bless you.

Jan 05, 2012
SORRY u lost ur 32yr old son ...
by: Kim

It's never a good time to lose someone, but seems like when it happens near holidays that tends to worsen the blow. First off let give u my deepest condolences for your loss. O too came to this site for encouragement I just needed another way prob let go of my anger and hopefully get encouragement.I'm a grandmother that lost my 3month old Grandson on 4/1/2011,but his birthday was 1/2/2011 and it's hard even still. I feel for you I just can't imagine burying my child before me I have only one blood and 2 step-children but its the same to me. All I can TRULY say is it don't get easier you just learn to deal with his death a day at a time ..I too am a recovering addict and it's a hard road prob try to walk back on, and I can only imagine him trying to get clean especially if he was in pain ..He probably didn't intend on anything happening, sometimes if you've been clean and u relapse you go back out thinking you could do what u was doing when you
quit, well that's where addicts make their mistake

..I don't kno what to say I hope I didn't offend u in any way. I couldn't imagine it hurt me sooo bad only knowing my Grandson 3mon almst well 32 yrs, he had developed into a young though through his sickness he did get to live awhile and bring you some joy. He's probably watching over you right now and from the pic I can are he looks like the type that would really appreciate ad be proud of his Mother ..I dnt kno if you're religious or not but I am and I believe God needed Angels and he knows our thoughts before we so and maybe he didn't want him to suffer anymore or seen it was Going to get worse and be much mire devastating than what it was ..God needed a Angel and he seen that in your son ..My prayers are with you ..May God comfort you and your family ..Remember they news you now more so than ever ..GOD BLESS YOU ..!!

Jan 05, 2012
I'm so sorry
by: Jen

I know your pain and am so sorry for your loss - I just buried my 23yr old son to a heroin overdose he died on 10/25/11 it was the most devastating day of my life. I had no idea he was battling this beast of addiction and the coroner said he was in the experimental stages which ultimately cost him his life because he probably didn't know his doses. He had his whole life ahead of him - I am just now able to cry and I've been crying a lot. I think the worst thing that could ever happen to a person is to lose their child. I am trying to figure out how I can go forward and live my life without him but I don't want to. I am learning that these kids start out with prescription pain medications and his long time girlfriend said that's how he started out when he got his first prescription for vicodin when he broke his arm. I will be praying for you - I am looking for a good grief group I hope you find one for yourself.
Jen

Jan 05, 2012
I understand.....too
by: Mary E

I did to lose my son Vale on November 19,2011 he had gone to sleep and never woke up.
Now, two months later my family and I all missed him so much, Vale was our leader and helper around the house. We are so loss with out him. I pray to God ask him for emotional support and guidance for each day the hurt feels a little less but not never done.

Your picture of you and your son is beautiful. I will pray for you Sharon, God Bless

Mary E
San Antonio, texas

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