Loss of my best friend
by Broken Amazon
I met my absolute best friend when I was already engaged to someone else and fell in love with him almost right away. He was in love with me as well but we didn't want to hurt our significant others and we thought we could handle just being friends. We have been through every major event in our lives together since then. 2 years ago, he stopped speaking to me suddenly for a year. Eventually, we started speaking again and he said he was afraid he was taking my husband's place emotionally and didn't want us to be as close as we once were so we tried to be a little less close but then,this year he survived a terrible car crash and we realised just how close we came to losing each other forevver. We became as close as we had once been and then, one day, he sent a friend to me with a message that he wanted to move on from me. We haven't spoken since. I feel he has left me twice and if I have any sense, I should just focus on my family. Everyone agrees this makes sense but I miss my friend terribly. I long to see him but I'm afraid that I will be in love with him all over again only to be rejected. It hurts to imagine that I meant so little that I could be so easily forgotten. But this conflicts with the way it was. So sometimes I'm angry and sometimes depressed and I feel so alone because anyone who hears it would judge me for loving him this much when I'm happily married so I grieve in secret. It's been two months and the pain is eating me up. I wish I could recover and forget everything we ever said or were.