Loss of my dear gentle mum

my dear mum died from CHF. she was in hospital. I didn't think she was going to die.I didn't see the symptoms. she had stopped eating and stupidly I didn't realise she was close to death. if truth be known I was abit off with her. I didn't listen to her. She told me she was lonely and asked me to stay with her a while longer but I left telling her I had to pick up the kids. I even told her that I would not visit her the next day if she was going to be in a bad mood. I didn't hug or kiss her before I left her the next time I saw her she was dead and I couldn't bear to kiss her lifeless body. I hope she knew I loved her dearly. My last words to her were call me if you need anything, that is my only comfort, that she knew she could call me. now I am riddled with guilt. I will never see her sweet smile or listen to her gentle voice again. To anyone reading this always tell your loved ones particularly elderly parents that you love them and kiss them as it may be your last. Also if an elderly person losses their appetite take it as a very serious indication of their state of health.

Comments for Loss of my dear gentle mum

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Nov 16, 2013
Sandhia
by: Anonymous

Many thanks for your kind comments. It is good to know that others are going through what we are feeling at this point in time.i hope mum knew that I loved her but as you say mums just know.
I am sorry for your loss mums are such an integral part of our lives that it is a awful void when they are gone. My mum had less than 30 per cent heart function and was very breathless so I know that things would only have gotten worse for her had she lived. I miss her so much but like the idea of writing her a letter. Thank you again for your kind words. Hope that time will ease our grief.

Nov 13, 2013
Loss of dear gentle mum
by: Kate

CHF is a horrible disease, so little known about it by the general public. I too wished that I had comforted my mum more or listened to her instead of lecture her. Also nobody told me that forty per cent of all heart failure patients die suddenly either from pump failure or from sudden cardiac death.I miss her so much. I like the idea of writing letters to her but I wish I had told her I loved her in the flesh. All I can do is hope she knew.

Nov 13, 2013
Deaf mum
by: Anonymous

your mum would want you to be happy. in yourself and forgive and move forward.


Nov 13, 2013
I lost mine too
by: Sandhia

Hi -- I understand exactly what you are going through. I lost my Mom on September 8th this year to CHF as well. Her heart functioned at <30% when she was admitted to ER and had been eating less and less. Even though I knew that CHF patients have trouble with appetite, there were lots of times I used to lose patience with her. I have lectured her about eating and eating better for last 20 years. And now that she is gone, I wish I had used that time to comfort her, to listen to her, to do things with her when she could and more importantly to give her hugs.

I think that your Mom knew that you loved her and that is the most important thing. She realized that you were in bad mood because you were worried about her and the stress was causing you to be a bit short. Moms know...

I don't know how to go on without her. One thing that helps me is to write her letters. When I feel like I need to talk to her, I write on whatever I happen to have. If she is somewhere and can see me, she will know.

Nov 12, 2013
Loss of dear gentle mum
by: Anonymous

Thank you yes I am trying to forgive myself and move forward it is difficult.I hope she knew I loved her and that she was very special to me. I honestly didn't think she was close to death, the hospital were talking about letting her home the next day.
She was in and out of hospital over the past few years with CHF and I honestly believed it was just another bad flare up and that she would be out in a few days. She was a wonderful mother and deserved the best. I am glad that her suffering is over but saddening that our parting was sudden without the chance to say goodbye and that I didn't stay longer as she requested that night. I know she would forgive me as she never held any grudges. Thank you again .

Nov 11, 2013
Loss of dear gentle mum
by: Anonymous

Thank you yes I am trying to forgive myself and move forward it is difficult.I hope she knew I loved her and that she was very special to me. I honestly didn't think she was close to death, the hospital were talking about letting her home the next day.
She was in and out of hospital over the past few years with CHF and I honestly believed it was just another bad flare up and that she would be out in a few days. She was a wonderful mother and deserved the best. I am glad that her suffering is over but saddening that our parting was sudden without the chance to say goodbye and that I didn't stay longer as she requested that night. I know she would forgive me as she never held any grudges. Thank you again .

Nov 11, 2013
I Felt the same
by: Federio

Sorry for your loss, I had the same feelings than you, I missed so. But was so late. Now I'm paying yet for it. In my case, at this moment I left her (she told , please don't move, I'm alone), But so stupid i didn't. I´m still remembering. But, so, is time to go forward, despite pain and suffers. I give You all my best wishes,. Since I entered in this page, no-one told something like that, feeling so bad. Egoism is so evil. Now We know. Please don't ask yourself, forgive yourself, and try to go forward. It's hard, but is the only way to survive after.

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