Loss of My Gram

by Pamela J Troupe-Jones
(High Point North Carolina USA)

Have you ever had a day where everything you say seems wrong but did not mean to come of that way. I can't post on my personal page and I am hurt beyond on words. Family can be so mean when a loved one passes away. The worst part is the way I was told I could mourn her loss. I grew up military and we were always away for everything and to be told you can't come home because it would be to hard is hard. I respect my grandfathers that he does not want anyone to come home and does not want anything done during holiday to honor grams wishes. I have a younger cousin I told I don't want any photos, or my grams diabetic stuff cause husband takes different kind now that he is on insulin and I don't want any phone calls. I know she had so much on her hands with husband away and two small kids and she is doing what the sons of grandparents should be doing. She had to take on the job her father should be doing but he went to Florida to ump instead. I just wanted her to relay message to my dad and not worry about me. I feel guilty enough because I could not go home when my grampy asked because I had son coming home from boot camp at the same time. She calls me selfish and mean and I was hurting her and I can't stop crying. I don't want pictures cause my grampy is not dead and they were given to both of them not just one of them. Am I wrong I just have a very hard time with death and the worst part she died on same day my husband grandmother died three years ago. We got to go and mourn her and that helps. Sorry venting but I needed to get this out I have no one to talk too cause everyone is up in arms cause I can't go home in January because my work only allows you to go home within 10 days of death not three months. I am very lost and right now. I am sad beyond all means and I need a friend who really understands. Pam

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Oct 25, 2012
Lossof my Gram
by: Doreen U.K.

Pamela I am sorry for your loss. We all have the experience of saying things we wished we hadn't said and wished we had said at the right time. it is part of our human condition as is having mean family members and friends when we are grieving. It is rather like a pattern that exists at a time of death.
Life gets more painfull. People less caring. and so we soldier on hoping for a better day. WE do get some, but mixed in with a lot of bad moments that seem to be more than the good times.
Death throws up much Pain and sadness, and we wonder how we are going to survive this pain and loss from our lives. Our whole world has changed forever. We just become different people. When we know where we are going it makes things easier. I do believe in a HEAVEN. Jesus is coming back to earth to claim his own. This world is not our home. We are just passing through. When we are caught up in grief it is so hard to remember this. DEATH feels like the end. Death feels so FINAL. The Bible says that the day of one's death is better than the day of one's birth, because we are going to have sorrows in a sinful world. WE are told in the Bible not to SORROW as those who do not have HOPE. So it does make a difference if we feel death is the end or the beginning of a future life when Jesus comes back to earth to claim his children.

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