I lost my mom to lung cancer recently. She passed laying in bed next to me. I had taken her through chemo and knew it would happen but did not know how devastating it would be to me. I was not able to work and had to leave my job. I tried therapy and medications but time has been the only thing that has helped. My younger brother was found dead on the floor in December, and had been there for a while when we found him. He was 48 and we don't know what caused it. I have now left another job. I cry frequently and feel numb. I have lost my compass and am just going through the motions of what I need to do. Now I am looking for a job and trying to find the inner strength to keep my life together. I find no joy in life at this time. I pray for guidance daily and hope to recover from all this.
I'm so sorry for your loss. A double loss. Your mind is having a hard time accepting this right now. The feelings you are going through are normal grief things that we all have to deal with when we lose the ones we love. The pain is overbearing most days. We feel like we are just drifting in the water, trying to stay afloat, but going nowhere fast. Our arms get tired of treading water and we know in our minds that we aren't moving. It's more than frustrating. Those around us who haven't experienced the death of a loved one don't have a clue and are quick to judge us. It's a shame but as human beings we will all go through it at some point. It's part of life. It doesn't seem fair and a lot of us are quick to lash out at others around us. I can tell you....it does get better. The pain never completely leaves us but we do find our way to a place where we can put things into perspective an move on with our lives. It doesn't happen overnight. It's a long and lonely journey.....but things to get better. I want to hear that a year ago. I was devastated at the loss of my husband. I thought, things will never get better. They did. Gradually. I still have days where I don't want to connect with the world around me. I will love and miss my husband always. Take it one day at a time. Be kind and patient with yourself. God Bless.
