loss of my son

3 weeks ago i got the call that nobody wants. the call from my daughter in law that my son tony wont wake up. mom his cold i think his dead. at that second life for me changed. my son this cant be true. this pain is like a knife in my heart. i just want someone or something to take the pain away. how can this be he was such a good person. i truly dont know if i can make it through this. i dont understand. im still looking for him to walk back in the house. i dont want anything any more really i just dont want to be in this world anymore. what is the purpose you go through hard times day to day and than you die. what the purpose. i just want my son back.

Comments for loss of my son

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Aug 31, 2013
My son was 31 for 7 days.....
by: Pamela LeMaster

He came to see me July 29, 2013. He arrived around 10pm......I seen his lights coming down my little street and just knew it was him.......he was so exhausted from the drive when he got out of his truck........I ran to him and hugged him so so tight........and when I went to pull away he pulled me back........he told me on the phone "he needed to see me again" (this word again? I am still wondering about) He left 4 children and a wife, 2 brothers, and 3 sisters.

He passed away on the 10th of August 2013, he was at a friends house working......and his friend found him the next morning.......he had passed in his sleep....we are waiting on an autopsy. Not sure what happened..

But the words I've read on here are so accurate.....so accurate.....I can only agree with the rest of you......and Pray that we all can find some peace somehow.......the pain is absolutely over whelming I know.....

God be with you all and comfort you with his love..I do know where my son is........

Jul 26, 2013
Parents should NEVER outlive their children
by: Anonymous

I am sorry for your loss and I do understand. Sometimes I go to the Cemetery and just scream, I want my son back. Speaking religion is out of the question. I know even god could not talk my son into leaving his wife, children, brothers, family, & friends. I lost my son 3 months ago...I keep looking at parents that have been through this, with hope I will to.
I see his teen children that he adored, my pain seems to be more for his loss of things he loved more than my loss. I went to the Ocean that I have always enjoyed and my son loved...I could not enjoy it, thinking how much my son would love to be there. Never having a daughter, I used to imagine my granddaughters wedding & now it just brings pain when I think of my son missing walking his daughter down the aisle. The kids graduations ahead just upsets me knowing I won't see my son beaming with pride as he watched.
I don't believe time will ever take a way any pain, but possibly help us get used to living with the pain and emptiness so it is easier,

Sep 30, 2012
Loss of my son
by: Wondra

I am so, so, so, sorry for your lost. He was a good son. He was your son. He was your treasure. Be strong. Take one day at a time.

Aug 16, 2012
loss of my son
by: Pam

I feel your pain and understand completly. Your child is gone and what are you going to do. It's been 2 years for me and I struggle each day trying to find my way. Lonely and empty are my new best friends. Wishing you support and comfort in the days to come.

Jul 25, 2012
Loss of my Son
by: Doreen U.K.

Margaret I am sorry for your loss of your only son. Your grief is unbearable and I feel you should try a grief counsellor. You will be in a safe and supportive environment where you will be respected, heard, and allowed the space to pour out your hurt and rage over your son's cremation. I have been in the same position. My husband wanted to be cremated because he didn't want to wake up in his casket. I would have preferred a burial for the same reasons you feel. My mind couldn't accept the ashes. I still wanted mentally to know there was a body there. But I wanted to respect my husband Steve's wishes.
Steve's family came to me twice and begged me not to burn Steve. It was against their beliefs. I didn't want to feel guilty going against Steve.
However out of respect and honour I gave Steve's family what they wanted. A BURIAL. Because Steve had an Industrial Disease. There was an inquest. WE couldn't get the dates of the funeral to marry up with the burial times. When we did and the inquest was over. It was now 20 days when the funeral took place. Now My husband's eldest brother has gone to my daughter's workplace and bullied her to clean her father's grave. Then he went to the graveyard and bullied the staff to clean this and remove all our flowers. My daughter asked his daughter (cousin) to speak to her father about this. Instead the family have persecuted us for the time it took to have the funeral. Ripped me to shreds for having mentioned Steve's wishes to have a cremation saying it is all lies he would not have mentioned this. then this niece goes on email to my niece on my side of the family in Canada, to say she was offended at her doing a video on her uncle (my late husband)included in the video it said Steve ate bacon sandwiches. (This eating of bacon took place 46yrs. ago. This niece is 31yrs) It was before her time. This niece has caused so much trouble over the unhealthy interest in our life that we had to take out a Police harassment order. and They lied saying we were the one's doing the harassment. IS THEIR NO JUSTICE? I AM ANGRY. I respected my husband's family. I honoured them by giving them the burial they wanted. And now in my grief I feel I have been massacred. I know the pain you are feeling. My husband's family were feeling the same way. Which is why I respected their wishes. But I still paid a price for it. I can not live in peace now even with a Police harassment order in place. Plus I have the pain of being innocent and now made out to be Guilty by my late husband's family. THERE IS NO JUSTICE.

Jul 25, 2012
I know what you are going through
by: Rosa

I am so sorry for the loss of your son. I too lost mine 1 year and almost 2 months ago. I too went through unreal torment. Losing a child is a most horrible loss that can not compare to any, especially for a mom who gave birth to that child. I have come to realize that people who have lost a loved one is a unique people, a people who other people don't understand unless they also have experienced a death as well. We need to unite because we understand each other. My advice is seek other people who have lost a loved one as well, for your healing. Do not make the mistake of digging yourself into a depressive state. I can assure you that you will survive this, because I have. I am in therapy & am getting to a point that I am going to start my own group to help others who are also going through the same agony that I am going through. God has helped me a great deal and am so grateful to Him. My son was shot and killed in front of the house next to ours so it has been hard for me to understand why it happened that way and here right by our house, but I have stopped asking that question and have chosen to instead start my healing process and now also to help others. I will be praying that God touch you and heal you and give you a reason to go on with life till it is your appropriate time when you will again see your son. Don't give up on life as hard as it may seem at times. Allow all the negative to leave you, don't dwell on the whys, don't hold onto regrets, don't let the "what ifs" tear you down instead allow the healing process to come into your life. Seek help and believe that you are going to make it through this harsh time. Remember the good times with your son and cherish them and let go of the negative situation that took your sons life. I can assure you that it will not be easy but if you put your mind to it and decide that you will overcome this, you will. I am also not saying that you will stop hurting or not feel the sting from time to time because it will continue but with time and allowing the healing process you will survive this. I am living proof of this. I still have my days when I break down but now I have learned to not stay in that dark sad place because I quickly shift to the happy moments with my son and knowing that He is with my Lord and no longer hurting, that is helping me survive until the day that I will once again see him and I will and once I am reunited with him, I will never ever be separated from him again. So I will be praying for you for Gods strength & courage to keep on going. God bless you.

Jul 24, 2012
loss of my son
by: margaret

thank all of you for your kind word and your stories. i am so sorry for your grief. this is a very hard a painful thing to go through. its been 3 weeks and it feel like yesterday. the pain is still sharp and i don't know what to do. he was married and have 2 small children i look at them and feel so bad that have to grow up with no father. another hurt for me was he was he wife wanted him cremated so we followed her wishes i did not understand how she could burn my sons body those where the arms that hugged me and the face that smiled at me and called me momma and to turn him into ashes. i couldn't stand know he was on fire. my baby. this pain is deep i need help

Jul 23, 2012
I know your pain
by: Carol,Seans mom

I lost my 24 year old son on November 15,2011. It has been just over eight months and my life is just so sereal now. Everything seems so different. Life is not the same place. My heart is broken and my soul cracked. I can't believe he is gone and that I have been here without him. My two daughters keep me going. Sean was the oldest of three and my only son. Life is sad and painful now and honestly every day is still a struggle. I have reached out to grief groups. To be around others who know my pain helps. It is the only time I feel a little normal. That is just sad but it is true. I have met so many wonderful people who have lost their children. Be around people who help support you. Your friends will change. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Jul 23, 2012
lost my son 9 days ago
by: Anonymous

My son died 9 days ago from a drug overdose. He tried herion and it was tainted. The pain is really unberable. Without the help of God I would
not be able to go on. The bible says the God is a ready source of help in a time of trouble. It is so true.

Jul 23, 2012
loss of my son
by: Doreen U.K

I am so sorry for the loss of your son Tony. Life is so very difficult now to lose your son. The pain is like nothing we will go through again. We wonder how we can recover from this grief. Like you I feel how can I go on in life. It is full of sorrow and then we die. WE don't expect our children to die before us as parents.
You may need some grief counselling to help you through your pain and sorrow. How can we go on in life when we lose a loved one. It is UNBEARABLE
Pain. WE can only take one day at a time. WE will never recover from this loss. You are not ALONE.
Every day is HELL. I can't function. I am not motivated to do anything. I want to sleep all day and night. When I wake up I get disappointed that I woke up. I am then filled with panic when I discover I am on my OWN. My husband is not coming back. I get angry with CANCER that took him from me. How do we RECOVER?
May God comfort you and us all in the days ahead through our loss, pain, grief, and sorrow.

Jul 23, 2012
loss of my son
by: Anonymous

I am so sorry for the loss of your son Tony. Life is so very difficult now to lose your son. The pain is like nothing we will go through again. We wonder how we can recover from this grief. Like you I feel how can I go on in life. It is full of sorrow and then we die. WE don't expect our children to die before us as parents.
You may need some grief counselling to help you through your pain and sorrow. How can we go on in life when we lose a loved one. It is UNBEARABLE
Pain. WE can only take one day at a time. WE will never recover from this loss. You are not ALONE.
Every day is HELL. I can't function. I am not motivated to do anything. I want to sleep all day and night. When I wake up I get disappointed that I woke up. I am then filled with panic when I discover I am on my OWN. My husband is not coming back. I get angry with CANCER that took him from me. How do we RECOVER?
May God comfort you and us all in the days ahead through our loss, pain, grief, and sorrow.

Jul 22, 2012
No one no's why
by: Anonymous

I am truly sorry about what you are going thru... I lost my mom 3 weeks ago on July 3.... It hurts and you cant breath... your life changes in a second... I cant know what it would feel like lose a child... the pain would be unbearable. Please know that your son would not want you to give up on life.... His soul will not have peace if he knows that you want to give up on life... please think about yourself and the others that love you... they worry and you are important to those you love... I loved my mom and she was 87 and had a sudden heart attack was a shock... I loved her dearly and cant believe that I cant see or hear her voice again but we will some day... know that your son loves you and can see your angusish and says hes okay and you will see him again.... trust that you will... it hard so very hard. Hang in there. You can email me anytime susantaylor_65@hotmail.com anytime...

Jul 22, 2012
Amen, Sister
by: rayolife

I lost my wonderful son David, 28, four years ago this week. He fought on the front lines and survived the war in Iraq and Afghanistan, joined the Reserves, and was home on leave when he was killed in a highway accident by a truck driver with no license, and high on prescription medication! How senseless, the pain and agony never cease! I feel the very same way you do! I'm just passing hours of the days, to get through my time here on earth to see him again. My heart goes out ot you. YOu life will NEVER be the same! God help you!

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