Loss of my wife

by Greg Oxendine
(Modesto, CA)

My Name is Greg. I loss my wife of 10 years to cancer. It has been so hard to go through the day and not feel so bad she is gone. I have thought about suicide, but I am a God fearing man and would never do that. I am trying to feel better, but everything I do reminds me of her and the time we had together. I loss my mother in 1998 and Karen was the ONE who got me through that. Now she has left me and I feel so all alone. I wish I could receive a sign telling me she is alright,but I feel that will not happen. I wish I could feel better, but writing this letter has help alittle, for I feel no one no the pain I am going through right now.

Comments for Loss of my wife

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Jun 05, 2012
Sorry for the loss of your Wife
by: by: Doreen United Kingdom

Gregg I am sorry for what you are going through.
I have lost my husband to cancer MESOTHELIOMA.
it is an inoperable, incurable, aggressive cancer and takes 40 years to develop.
Steve died 5th May 2012 and I buried him 11 days ago on 25th May 2012.
Gregg it is HELL going through this grief. One cannot even imagine it unless they go through it. I too felt suicidal, and don't want to go on in life. It is heart wrenching. I feel I have had my heart ripped out and I can't bear the pain. Watching Steve suffer for 3 years was hard and to experience the loss of each stage of the disease.
I purchased 5 grief books from Amazon and I am working through these. I am also writing a journal and each day I talk to Steve journalling telling him what is going on and how am I going to go on without him and the difficulties I am experiencing each day. I tell it all in my book and it does help writing.
I wish you Peace and better days ahead.

Jun 01, 2012
Re: Thanks to all
by: Anonymous

I would to thank all that have left comments on my writings (TrishJ, Judith, and Tom). You make my day more tolerable to get though. I have thought about my wife everyday since her passing (April 16, 2012) and things have not gotten much better. I am afraid to go around people, for I feel to sad to see people together as Karen and I were. I have been having headaches lately and I think it stems for me worried about my true love. I do appreciate reading what other have to say about their feelings. It has made me realize that I am not the only one that has lost a true love. Again, I would like to think everyone who has sent a comment to me.

May God bless you all, Greg

Jun 01, 2012
My Tina does not need her wheelchair,for she is now walking in heaven
by: Tom

I have also lost my wife and part of me died with her on that very sad night. My Tina had been confined to a wheelchair for 18 years and after 4 years in a long-term care state hospital she took a turn for the worse!! They sent her to another hospital where she died in 06' My life will NEVER be the same without her. We were married for 31 years and had two sons and 5 grandchildren. She was everything to me and my heart is broken and will NEVER be healed. Spend time with your kids and grand kids if you have any. They are living examples of the love that your wife had for them while here on earth! I love my sons,but my grandchildren are all "very special". Unfortunately,only one of them remembers "Nana" as she liked to be called.

May 30, 2012
Me Too!!
by: TrishJ

My grandmother used to say that God never gives us more than we can handle. Really grandma? Sometimes I wonder. I'm not handling my husband's death very well either.
I don't like much about my new life. I get up in the morning to face each day. Part of me is dead. I know exactly how you feel.
All we can do is our best. Nobody knows what it feels like until it happens to them.
God bless.

May 30, 2012
by: Judith in California

Greg, please read all the letters form those of us who have gone before you down the grief journey. You will find all the answers you will need . WE are all so sorry for your loss. AS you read more from Lost Spouses you will see all of the things you will feel . We want you to know the grief will become less and less. You will find acceptance and peace when you are ready. I'm glad you are a man who knows God because you will need him to help give you the strength to carry on in your new normal. It's been 21 months for me and I cry less but still miss him. I never thought I'd get to this peaceful side of it. Know we are all here for you and will help you on this horrible roller coaster ride of grief.

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