loss of parents
by carol h
the last month has been the most difficult i have ever experienced in my life. on December 6 2012 i lost my mom to a car accident. she had cancer and pneumonia but was improving. but then she was killed instantly. my step dad died on Jan 1 of this year as a result of the injuries he sustained in the same accident. he was in a coma but came out of it, but then slipped back and was gone from us forever. i just don't know what to do without my parents. its like my whole world was pulled out from under me. i can barely function. i don't want to clean house anymore. I'm not cooking meals for my family. i ache all over. I'm so angry at God for taking my parents. why would he do this to me? don't the care that i am in pain? i am also angry at the driver that hit them. they walked away without a scratch. do they know they caused the death of my parents? do they even care? do they feel guilt and remorse? to top it off my husband is very ill with emphysema. he now needs constant care. its just more than i can deal with. I'm just not that strong! i want to crawl into bed and forget the world exists. its not fair that i am burdened so heavily. i wish i was stronger. i could continue on as if nothing happened. i would have as much energy as before. but my grief is crippling and i don't know what to do about it. why wasn't i in the car with them? why couldn't it be me that died and not them?