Lost 3 loved ones within a 2 week span!

by Mari
(Chicago, IL )

I lost 3 loved ones within a 2 week span. On January 5, 2014 my life was flipped outside down when we received a call that my uncle, aunt, cousin and boyfriend and son were involved in a tragic car accident as they dove to Mexico for an annual celebration. It was around 11am when the accident occurred just 5 hours away from their final destination. My uncle died instantly, the rest of the family members were rushed to hospitals. My cousin suffered multiple injuries and after 11 days in intensive care she died,she was only 28 years old. The rest of the family seemed ok and were recuperating, my aunt had a knee injury but otherwise seemed fine, yet a day after her daughter’s funeral her heart suddenly stopped and she died as well. Our family was not the typical family, my aunt was part of my life as far back as I remember. She lived with my parents before getting married and once she got married she lived next door. I saw her every day and she truly was a second mom to me. I have to admit that I was closer to her than my own mom; I always knew I could confide with her about anything without judgment, something that was hard to do with my mom. I remember when my cousin was born, I was 10 years old and I always wanted a sister. From that moment I took over being her big sister. As a child I would take her with me everywhere. Once she became an adult our bond became unbreakable and we shared our lives. We went out together, we vacationed together and once she got pregnant I was ecstatic for her. She was an amazing mom; she had just purchased her home and was really living life! Living the dream. With a beautiful baby, a funny and supportive husband and a new home her life was great. But now she is gone, and her 1 year old baby was left without a mom, grandma and grandpa. We talked everyday even if it was by text or email. We talked about our dreams. I miss her so much. They all meant so much to me and I am having such a hard time accepting that I will never see them again. My aunt and uncle were always a couple I looked up to, after over 30 years of marriage they were still lovebirds, he called her every day from work just to talk. He bought her flowers for Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Sweetest Day and her birthday year after year. And the love they had for each other was so visible. They were so involved in church always doing the right thing and always helping anyone in need. They had 4 children and 1 grandson who they adored! They were truly an inspiration, an example to follow. My cousin was also an amazing human being, she had so many friends and she led the same life that her parents did. She had found the love of her life. She was so kind hearted and always kept in touch with all her friends, always eager to help others. People keep saying that it was God’s will. I have such a hard time accepting God’s will in this case. How can he take 3 people who were living their lives the way we were thought to live? The way he would want all of us to live. How could he take them all so suddenly and pretty much all at the same time? My aunt and uncle left behind 2 sons and a daughter, their sons are age 23 and 21 and their daughter 17 years old. They are so lost and I don’t know how to help. My cousin left behind and loving boyfriend and a one year old son. It all seems so unfair. I just can’t understand it! I just can’t accept it! I just can’t! I have such emptiness and sadness in my heart.

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Apr 04, 2014
Dear Mari,
by: Anonymous

What a sad and tragic story. I am so sorry to read about your losses. Try to keep the faith and believe that one day you will have answers. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, but I hope that you and your family can find some peace and comfort in the days ahead, and that you can begin to heal. Barb

Apr 04, 2014
Lost 3 loved ones within a 2 week span!
by: Doreen UK

Mari I am so sorry for your loss of your 3 family members from your life to a sudden death. I am sorry for your cousin's loss of a mom and dad. Life is so very unfair. Only problem is that when you are of Faith and Belief in God one is more accepting of God's Will for our lives. I lost my husband to cancer 23 months ago and we prayed for healing and I believed he would be healed. He wasn't healed. HE DIED. I was so angry with God. I didn't want to be. I couldn't help those feelings. It made me feel I didn't Pray the right way, or perhaps my prayers were wrong in some way. My husband was anointed for Healing of cancer and died 8 hours later. I was devastated. My anger soon went and my Faith restored. But I do feel upset when I watch or hear of anyone healed. I am happy for their healing. But upset my husband didn't get his healing. My husband was busy working all over the country and the world in his job as a carpenter whilst I took the children to Church and tried to nurture them for God. Then when my husband is about to retire He dies. All those years of working without him. And now retirement without him. Life isn't Fair even if many people think it is God's Will. HOW DO THEY KNOW? Some people smoke and die of cancer and many don't smoke and die of cancer. I believe that even if you live right, and do God's Will it is not a surety that all will go well with your life. A Pastor and his 3 sons were flying somewhere and the Plane crashed killing all of them. YET! This Pastor was doing God's work. WE don't really know what God's Will is for us which is why WE have to Pray and ask Him for Guidance and Protection at all times. It is still good to live like how your aunt and uncle did. In the Will of God which is OBEDIENCE to HIS COMMANDS. This all any of us can do so that we have a mission to live with God in eternity when he comes back for us as He promised. You will see your uncle and Aunt again and cousin. You will feel hurt for some time. If you find yourself struggling then go and see preferably a Christian counsellor for support and perspective on recovering from grief. You may also be able to encourage your cousins to do the same thing since they have lost their Parents. The Church may also be a very good support structure for you all at this time. Best way forward is taking ONE DAY AT A TIME. Crying is good grief from where Healing comes from. May God be close to you all and give you all His Comfort and His Peace.

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