Lost almost everything ..

by J
(Canada)

We were together for almost 10 years. We met when I was still a teenager. We both had nowhere to go and no one who cared. We were there for each other for everything. He was there for me when no one else was. We took care of eachother we had nothing. We've been through so much together even a miscarriage which hurt us both pretty bad. Now we have a beautiful, smart, caring, sweet little daughter that I would do anything for. Sometimes he can make us both very happy and sometimes he can be very evil to me. He went from not ever swearing at me ever to every once in a while to pretty much now every day I get torn down mentally. Not only that but he's been doing drugs which only make his paranoia worse which I've begged him to see a doctor about. He knows we are all he has he acts like he wants to be a family but then is mentally and physically abusive and I don't want my daughter anywhere near any of that. It just hurts me so bad that someone who acted like they cared so much someone who I thought would always be there would one day just change and not be that person. Mine and my daughters whole lives have been flipped around and I don't know what I'm gonna do. Were going to have to start from the bottom again together. I'm just sad that I could never have the family that I've always wanted my whole life. My poor sweet girl. I don't know what to do or say anymore I don't know what were gonna do and that scares me. It hurts me so bad that he would do this to us the only people that were ever there 100% for him.

Comments for Lost almost everything ..

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Oct 07, 2014
You can succeed and be a winner in life.
by: Doreen UK

J it is impossible for you to stay with an abusive man who is going to get worse with time. You owe it to yourself and your daughter to get outside help and support to move out. Perhaps Social Services may be able to point you in the right direction. You could even go to see a counselor for support and a structured plan to help you move out of that environment and into a safer place where you can care for your daughter and start to build your life up. DRUGS. is a lifestyle he has chosen and you can't force him to change. Only He can if he wants to. You don't need your daughter exposed to drugs or abusive behavior that will scar her emotionally and mentally and will do the same to you.
If you believe in God you can also seek Sanctuary from the Church. You may find a mentor who is willing to take you in until you can find your own way in life. You need support. You cannot do this on your own as it will feel you are in a scary place right now. You don't have to put up with such behavior. You are vulnerable, but can make a wise decision to do the right thing for you, and your daughter. If you go to a Mental Health Charity they may be able to offer you counseling on a sliding scale. Counselors can also access organisations that offer housing and shelter. These are just some starting points for you. Don't give up Hope. Reach out to God and He will put the right people in your way to help and guide you. God has done this for me ALL MY LIFE. Don't give up on the future. take one day at a time and build your life up. You can meet someone who will love you for who you are and have a better future. Just stay positive and build up your self esteem and confidence by encouraging yourself and doing special things for yourself every day. Best wishes

Oct 06, 2014
You have Everything to gain
by: Judith in California

J, you are on the right track. Please get your daughter and yourself away from him. HE is going to need more help than you can or have time for. Protecting your daughter form seeing you abused and eventually her being abused is the single most important thing you can do. See a lawyer and seek to see if there is shelter for you both. He is not going to get better if he won;t seek help and that is up to him. HE has to want it. YOU can't love him into being a man of character. Most men who begin to abuse will continue. They will say they are sorry and then a day later they do it again and the cycle begins. If you give in he will think it is okay as long as he says he's sorry. Protect yourself and your daughter. Show her how to be a strong woman and keep your standards high and never let them down for any man.
You didn't say if you were married or not but you have to leave that situation. I pray you will take heed to what I'm writing because I was where you were at one time when my son was a year old . I left and never looked back. The best decision I made. It's how you will know what you will do. I luckily had a sister that let me live with her until I could find a jojb and move out. That was 49 years ago. His father ended up in the drug community and took his life because he did things he couldn't live with.
you have everything to gain like your self respect and your daughters safety and feeling loved and protected.

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