lost always

by zoey
(norfolk)

2 months ago my grandad went to doctors because he fell out of bed and my brother forced him to just go and get checked out. Later on he got sent to the hospital because something was low. Then all of a sudden he had heart failure and he was in hospital for a week . I honestly thought he was coming home because the hospital said they had it under control and he was getting better then one night mum and my sister went to visit him. I didn't go because I have a bit of a phobier. Everyone went to see him but I didn't because I was thinking of my self. Then my mum came home and said that he past away. I felt so confused I didn't cry nothing and didn't cry until the day of the funeral when he turned up in his coffin.i was embarrassed to cry. Its been so hard because I was not always nice to him and he gave me everything. And now he isn't here. Things remind me of him all the time and because im embarrassed I wait till im alone to cry which is stupid . He was funny, inspirational and the most important man in my life. Love you forever grandad R.I.P

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Feb 08, 2014
lost always
by: Doreen UK

Zoey I am sorry for your loss of your grandfather. You sound like a young person not mature enough to know that when you are young you say and do things as children do. Even adults get it so wrong. But in life we have to learn as we go on that we will all make mistakes. It is part of our human nature. We will hurt people all the time as we grow in life. But with maturity we learn in time to put things right. Often we may not get the chance to say SORRY and the person has died. It is then we have to find a way to learn to FORGIVE ourselves and learn from this. This is how our lives are shaped. By getting it wrong often and then learning new ways to do it right.
Don't be embarrassed to cry. Don't feel guilty because your granddad was good to you. This is what grandparents do. They love their grandchildren and want to give them good things without expecting anything in return. It is their Choice. You need to open up to your Parents and let them know how you feel and receive their support. This can also be to another Adult you can trust to help you through your grief. Because grief is painful and confusing. If you have no one then see a grief counsellor. This is a very mature thing to do and they will listen and use their skills to help you through this grief. You don't have to be lost in grief and let it affect your life. It is in talking just like we are doing on this site that will help us all heal from our sorrow. You will soon learn to reclaim your life and learn that this is just one of many interruptions in life that one has to deal with and help us to grow in our life. Bad things do happen in life but they also make us stronger with time.

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