Lost and confused. Wish I could forget my life!
I met my ex while we where at school aged 11 till 16. We met up again at 17 and started a relationship. He got a job offer aged 18 and I moved with him 200 miles from all my family and friends - I gave up everything and started a whole new life.
Once we moved in together I realised he had not told me a lot of things about himself - he had mild autism and OCD. I found it incredible difficult when we moved and got incredible home sick. This made him angry and he did not like me contacting my family as he told me this made me too upset. Money was very tight and this pit added pressure on us. I put on a few pounds and he told me he was un happy with this and he didn't eat to have to dump me. This really put pressure on me and I felt really out of control and even more unhappy.
We never got to do anything because of money - in the end he got out 4 credit cards in his name and started buying himself bikes, cameras, started martial arts, gym equipment and clothes. In all this time I got a laptop - I always wanted my nails done but was told I couldn't because of money. There was never any money for me to buy clothes or go out with my friends. I tried so hard to make him happy but the harder I tried the more withdrawn he became.
One night he got back late from a work function. He told me that I needed to think about wether I was happy or not? After much conversation it came out that he had been seeing a girl he worked with and wanted to start a relationship with her (seems like this had already started anyway) he said he was sick of his friends having girlfriends like models and a few actually where models and really pretty and thin. He was sick of not having this, sick of having to put up with me!! I'm now 27 and have spend the best part of 10 years trying me make him happy. I love him sooo much. I feel old and like I have nothing left to give. It's like I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone. Who would want a size 12, worn out 27 year old women. I feel broken. I have know him my whole adult life I'm so scared. I hate the thought of seeing them together. She tried to get him to make me homeless or move her in to our flat so ill have no choice but to move out. She hates me and wants to make sure he never talks to me again. I feel so lost!!