by maria

I had a few good days. But now I am in the dumps again. I am just sick in my heart for I miss him soooo much. I just go through the motions. Will anyone ever find me attractive again and love me for just being me. Or do I have to jump through hoops. I am not always sad and lonely. It just hit me sometimes. I don't know where to go or what to do. People says just get out and go for a walk or just pull up your boot straps. People who dont understand grief and clinical depression just dont get it.

Peoples lives go on and my has stopped completely.


Click here to add your own comments

Jun 06, 2011
Lost and Lonely in NC


I know you feel down and so alone. It is so very hard getting through grief and it doesn't help that people think that it is something you can heal from like a sprained ankle.

Do not worry about whether anyone will again find you attractive. You are not ready anyway. You need to love the person that you will become when grief has has its way with you. You need to at some point accept this new life that none of us want at first.

I guess we adjust because there is no other way to get out of the misery that encompasses our soul. It has been a year and a half Today. I feel so very down in the dumps and I really thought that I had grown past all these emotional drops. The ups the downs the roller coaster of grief.

I suppose we all have bad days but take the good days when they come and just relish in it. They may be few initially but eventually there will be more good days than bad. I know you do not want to hear that it takes time. You want to know how long? How much time? It differs from person to person and though I thought I had finished with my deep grieving there will be days when you sigh, occasionally cry and you just get through those days too. My best to you as you travel this miserable road of grief and do not let ANYONE tell you how you need to deal with your own broken heart...

Jun 06, 2011
reprint - Shifting Sands
by: jules

This is a poem I found when clearing some paperwork, it was given to me at Ipswich Hospice who run a grief counselling service, when my husband died 15 months ago.It is credited to Jan MacDonell of Wahroonga, NSW Australia.

My beloved has died - I'm
Frightened and hurt
Please don't get angry,
impatient or curt -
If I'm not progressing as
you think I should.
I'd love to snap out of it,
if only I could.

You see, we were a couple -
A team, you could say
always together, every day.
Now there's just me, alone
and scared.
Missing my loved one,
someone who cared.
There's a void in my life
and I'm full of despair
Long to be loved, but there
is no one there.

So, please don't get angry,
please understand
That I feel like I'm
drowning in shifting sand.

These words say it all don't they?


Jun 05, 2011
One Day At A Time
by: TrishJ

You are going to have good days followed by bad days. The hard emotions surface when you least expect them. They call it a roller coaster ride. That's what it is. Up, down, feel good, feel bad, feel happy, cry all day at the drop of a hat.
It's been 6 months now and I think I'm making some progress. I just miss my husband so much. He was part of my life for 38 years. We had a wonderful life together but I have to move on alone now. I'm sure I'll still be working on this in a year from now. I'm just moving at my own pace. Don't let anybody tell you to pull up your boot straps ~ they aren't walking in your boots. Let the straps drag behind you for as long as you need to. You'll know when you're ready to pull those straps up.
One breath, one step at a time. God bless:)

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Spouse/ True Love.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!