Lost and So Scared

by Lori
(Vernon Ct USA)

My son Dan is 27 we lost my nephew to heroin Aug 2009, and his best friend Feb 2011. I new this was tearing him apart and new Dan struggled with drug mainly pills after a surgery but never new just how far it went. This past couple of years have been **ll. I helped with rent even though he had a good job, when i finally found out it was heroin and pills i lost it. I did not understand how he could use after losing a family member and i was so upset and felt horrible i thought my brother would hate him but he did not my family love him.His younger brother is not as close to him anymore and it hurts , well after 3 rehabs one for 3 days, one for 7 and one for 6 weeks he came to stay with me .
It started over after 4 months clean and 4 days ago he tried to over dose so he could take the pain away from me and his loved one his girlfriend of 5 years and her son who is 8 and was to be his stepson. Last night i heard what no parent wants to hear I tried to kill myself, what do i have always been there and always will but how do i get him help he has no job and no money. He is stealing and he want to get well i found this page when i was looking for help, i will be passing it on to my brother and sister in-law. he did more heroin then ever at one time, i pray for all of you and your daily struggles with your losses God Bless you and your families.
We are starting a new Church together and i am going to go to meeting with him he wants to do a 30 30 i am not sure if this will work and i know i cant be there for him everyday and am so afraid i will come home and he will be gone

Comments for Lost and So Scared

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Feb 07, 2014
lost and so scared
by: Therese

Thank you so much for your story it brought tears to my eyes, everyday is a struggle and i have found i have no life but being consumed with him and what he is doing. My youngest son does not talk much to Dan but he feels like he should be doing more to get well. I am so sorry for your loss of your son and you and your family are in my prayers.
I try everyday to make him know how much i love him but sometimes i just cant take it and i say things i regret and feel so bad thinking if this is my last day with him how would i feel the rest of my life. I am by myself all the time i have very few friends and stay home all the time i am 52 going on 82 but i cant give up on him.. i love both my boys and would do the same for each one and i will keep in mind Church just having a hard time finding one that i can relate to i have been Catholic my whole life but not a practicing one and i find it boring and Dan wants to go and find a higher power i hope we can do this and i want you to know how much this meant to me and how sorry i am for you loss .. Lori

Feb 07, 2014
Keep going
by: Therese

I lost my son Dan aged 23 a year ago he took his life drugged up and drove til he crashed his car. He had attempted suicide before and already survived a car accident where my youngest brother died. I am a Christian also. He was my eldest son. I can say you have to not let the fear rule you. Let the bad stuff go. Start each day new. Greet him every time with love smiles and acceptance. It is like living with someone with a terminal illness. You need to start accepting his choices. You don't have to like them. Remember this is about him and what he is going through you need to be there for him. That is a key and love love love him. You need to help him love himself he will see it in you. If nothing else you will start to empower yourself and him he will get it. Live time with no regrets. Church can help but read the Corinthians 13 love chapter it transformed my life.

Dec 04, 2013

Fist thank you for telling me your story. I hope your son gets through this rough time too. I think jail is probably where my son will end up if not dead.Heroin is just the worst drug and i do know that all the pills are addicting too. i have been doing research, and can not believe that so many of our children have had surgery and where given drugs for pain and then refills and refills then when they don't get them anymore they go to the streets which they are so expensive and heroin is cheap and they are suckered into it. Im not making excuses for our children at all.
I believe we need to stop these pain meds given out like candy from the doctors, lets deal with the pain of surgery with over the counter medicine. deal with pain its better then watching our children and other loved ones lose there battle. I will be thinking of you and your grandchildren and family thank you .. Lori

Dec 04, 2013
to all
by: Anonymous

hi lori im in same situation as yourself im am soooo terrified to find my 28yo son dead.. we have battled the herion addiction for 5 years.. as well as the oxy and zanax...rehabs they get drugs ..dont even know of every time he od..you would think getting a shot in the heart and being intubated and going to your friends funerals or even having two beautiful boys 3 and 5 yo.. would make them stop..my son in jail for stealing is a relief just for fact i know hes not on streets bying herion... i know they can get stuff there but...but its true you just have to say god its your turn to babysit....barbara

Nov 30, 2013
Lost and So Scared
by: Doreen UK

Lori You have a heavy burden worrying about your son Dan 27yrs. Unfortunately drugs is such a strong drug to overcome only can be done with the help and support of a loving Church family and consistent PRAYER.
My nephew believed in Jesus and suffered depression. He was put on medication with side effects of suicidal tendencies. He cried out for help and he one day threw himself in front of an express train 7yrs. ago. My sister needed a counsellor to come to her home to pick up the pieces of her life. We were all so devastated. None of us could reach him and just like you we prayed and supported as much as we could.
All you can do is seek help from your Church if Dan is not against this. Make sure Dan feels the love and support of family and Church and that you keep Dan before you in consistent PRAYER. Often this all a parent can do. Give your WORRIES to God. This is too heavy a burden for you to carry. Let God carry this burden and then Trust God each Day. I have had to do this for my son. He is not on drugs or anything like that. He is just hurt by Life. But I have always had this fear. Now I can do nothing but Give him to God. God be with You and your family at this time and especially be close to Dan and help him overcome this habit. God Bless your Church and planting.

Nov 25, 2013
by: Lori

Thank you for your story it was so nice that you got back to me.I will do my best to do what it takes to get him help, I have never heard of a year program. I would love for him to go see his Dad in Colo. But everyone has told me they dont want him if he is not better I guess i dont understand how a parent can turn there back on there child . Dont get me wrong there has been times i just look at him and think who are you and im sick of you and this but, with his step-dad kicking him out and his girlfriend leaving him which believe me is a good thing. She was using pills and when he got out of rehab i believe he needed to work on himself and stop worrying about everyone else.
I dont know of anyplace that helps anyone for a year and i have been talking to so many places. He went to a place in Vegas, we live in CT i was so calm when he was there well i learned from him guys could bring stuff in there,when i heard this i called the place because Dan was still there and they said they took care of it and the guys had gotten kicked out. We send them for help and we cant trust the places i know its not the place itself that is at fault i guess? I look in his eyes and i see sadness and hopeless, I see how he wants me to help i just dont know what to do i will do as you said and start to try my best to get him in somewhere thank you again and Happy Thanksgiving to you and your also ..

Nov 24, 2013
by: jOLYNN

you are overwhelmed, We were not given manuals to tell us how to deal with these problems as they arise. Our society still stigmatizes the poor lost young people and it's about time we make addictions a real MDEICAL issue and not a criminal one. The brain is very complex and when it keeps getting stimulated by a substance that makes us feel better than good, we are off and running in pursuit and eventually ruin. There is hope how ever. My 26yr old son was a 1st Lt officer in the Marines. He was a lethal weapon in military martial arts he had his privates pilots license. He was a thrill seeking overachiever and was on his way to fly jets that could reach Mach 2 Things went terrible wrong, he found oxycontin, Soon couldn't afford it so he went to Heroin. This is a VERY DANGEROUS DRUG and you must get a plan in order for him 3 month rehabs do not work, He needs to go away for a year! I mean it, We sent our son to Betty ford. was supposed to be 3 months long, he made it thru 2 then met a girl, hooked up and got kicked out! They relapsed and he died in a dirty, dingy motel room. He was only 26. He was funny, courageous and far surpassed most in our society in terms of strength and honor and ability. Get good help, make phone calls, extend yourself to encourage his recovering which is different than enabling him. Set reasonable limits and discuss openly what consequences should be. Find your inner strength,,,it brought u to seek this place out. Happy Thanksgiving to all your blessed family. and may you find the dignity and peace that you deserve

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