lost at sea

by Anonymous
(USA)

Before I met my first love I was confused with my life. I had a plan with what I wanted to do with my life but I always second guessed my self. How I met my ex wasn't out of a fairy tale book but hey, we were the ones making our own memories. Things between us got deep fast like Khole and Lamar Odem fast. I'm not saying we got married but it was like we knew we were soul mates from the day we started talking. Although we were madly in love there were many forces that tried to break us. Before I met my ex I applied to a school 3000 miles away from my home just for s**ts and giggles, not really thinking I was going to get in because I still had one more year at a CC left but I did. My ex being in the navy was scheduled to go on his first deployment two months into our relationship, it didn't break us but we knew it was going to be a very trying few months. With my relocation and his deployment we still committed to staying strong into our relationship.
My world came crumbling down the day he left for South America. I'll never forget how minutes felt like hours. I wanted so much to fall asleep and wake up six months later. It wasn't like I was depressed but at that moment he left for his deployment I realized I lost so much more than my boy friend, I had lost my best friend. I've never been that girl who claimed that their significant other was their bestie, but I realized when you really do love someone that they really do become you best friend. your other half.
I knew that I wanted to marry him before I met him.
A month into his deployment he broke up with me. This wasn't a typical break up.I had gone into this relationship scared with a little hesitation but my ex had guided me and built my confidence that we would make it so when he broke up with me it felt worse than the feeling of being cheated on. Thanks to technology I was able to creep his facebook and see that he had become close to a woman where he was deployed. Naturally I couldn't get mad considering we were broken up, but it set my healing time even further back. I definitely went through the 7 stages of grief. But here I am now a stronger woman.
I will always love Vernon there is no doubt.Even after all the pain i still remember the times where we were so deep in love.
I got a tattoo that says "Believe" on my foot. Every step I take is because I am believing I can get through it.