Lost BOTH grandmas in the same month (November 2013)
This past year ended on a terrible note . In September, one of my Grandmas broke her ankle tripping over her oxygen cord and had to be hospitalized. While she was there, she was having trouble breathing and ended up with pneumonia. She was in the hospital for 3 months and ended up having an endotrachel tube put in. Each time they tried to pull it out she could not breath on her own. She had said she never wanted to live on a breathing machine or nursing care so we all agreed to pull the tube. I remember her being awake and looking at me before they injected the various pain medications and it was heartbreaking to look in her blue eyes I keep thinking and wondering what she was thinking at the time and it makes me sick inside . She went peacefully and my other grandma came and said goodbye as well. Then two weeks later my other grandma said she wasn't feeling well and had to go to the hospital. She had pneumonia and was to receive iv antibiotics. She had had pneumonia many times before due to her lung condition and we all figured she would be out in no time as usual. I visited her on a Thursday night and she was perfectly fine and happy grandma. Then over the weekend the doctors put her under anesthesia to pump out the fluid build up in her lungs and she couldn't recover without the tube in. On Tuesday, her and my grandpas 56th wedding anniversary, we pulled the tube and she passed away peacefully like my other grandma . For both experiences I stayed in the room for hours until each one passed. They were both very strong women and I admire them for that . But I miss them dearly and were closer to them then my parents (who had recently gone through a divorce, remarried , and each moved away). I just feel like my heart is breaking. I used to spend days with them more than any other grandchild . And I'm just so upset. I have my good days snd bad but recently it feels more like bad then good. I'm so sad that I don't even feel like planning my wedding because they won't be there. I love and miss them so much and I know they are watching down on me in heaven .