Lost but still here ?
I was married in May of 2008, 3 1/2 months later I lost her. Your parents are 2 rocks to keep you steady through life. Losing 1 has put me seriously off balance. It's been almost 2 years and it feels like I lost her just yesterday. It hurts so much I feel I can't go on any further, I don't want to go on.
After looking at the steps of grief, it seems I have been stuck at #5, anger and blame. It's the doctor fault that has consumed me and I am determined to prove it was their fault. (The doctors that is). The pain comes and goes. Some days I want to just smash something, hit something...just do something to release the anger.
She went in to get her colostomy put back together. Somehow blood clots formed and spread and cut blood flow to her legs, and the toxin were building up and they couldn't do anything ...supposedly. I didn't get to say goodbye or nothing. It's not fair and I won't...can't let it go.