My co-worker who sat just about two feet from me for 2 1/2 years died of an illness a few months ago. You don't get to 50 plus years without having lost a lot of people from your life, but I guess this is the first time I've lost someone whom I currently spent so much time with on a daily basis. Besides being a dear person, even though she was over a decade younger than me, she was also like a mother to me in a way.
On the same day she died, coincidentally, I got moved to a room of my own at work. Now I work through tears many days. Sometimes I just think it's because I'm lonely in here, and I don't know why I can't reach out when I'm outside my room and talk to people more, but I think I had forgotten to acknowledge to myself that I may still be grieving.
I don't like to talk about my grief at work because everyone loved this person...so I don't want to make others sad...nor make them think that I think we were closer than someone else. Some of them knew her longer, did things with her outside of work, etc. I think she was just as close or closer to many of my co-workers than she was to me, but she blessed my life so much. I know her passing through my life was only a blessing even though she is gone now, but I guess we all need to work through the pain of loss.