Lost dad to cancer at 60 :(

by Kate

It's been almost 3 years since I lost my dad. He had been batteling non hodgkins lymphoma for 5 years and was started to finally get better but had a persistent cough that drove him mad! 4 days before Xmas he got shooting pains in his chest every time he took in a deep breath! He had a high temp and was exhausted. We decided that because of his history of cancer that we should phone an ambulance. He was taken into A&E and checked over, his blood pressure was so low they thought the machine has broken! Anyway, after testing him it turns out he had got pneumonia! Long story short, within a few days he was on life support and on boxing day his heart failed and he took his last (ventilated) breath! It was horrendous! My brother (22 at the time) threw up, my sisters (23 and 27) were screaming and clinging to him and I was just numb! I tried to keep things together for my mums sake, seeing her devastation was the hardest thing! I miss him so much. His funeral was amazing, we wanted the best for him. Black horse drawn carriage, loads of flowers, a soal singer in the church, I wrote a poem and a band to follow his coffin to the cemetery. There were over 200 people there to pay their respects to him. He was such a lovely person. I used to sit and talk about his past with him for hours, he was so interesting. I loved my dad so much and still do, it hurts even to look at photos of him. We both loved pink floyd and would listen to it whilst having a drink and talk about old times, I find it very difficult to listen to them now! There is such a gap in our lives without him. I miss his laid back ways, his sarcastic jokes and his advise. He was so generous too and would give you his last pound if you needed it. I know his soul has continued its journey into the spirit world and I know il see him again one day, but for now I still miss him and wish I could talk to him one last time. My children still ask after him but my son never even met him. I continue to keep his memory alive but it's just not the same. I find it hard watching them with my father in law, I think to myself my dad should be experiencing this, he adored his grandchildren! Grief is a terrible thing to try and over come, the longer time goes on the harder it is and the more the memories start to fade x

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Oct 19, 2012
Lost dad to cancer at 60 :(
by: Doreen U.K.

Kate I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. YOU are right. Grief stricken and it is a horrible place to be. Our world is now FRACTURED. I lost my husband to lung cancer 5 months ago. It might as well be 5 years. This is what it feels like. My husband won't see his grandchildren grow up. HOW CRUEL. My children lost a good father. A dad who also would give his last pound to you if you needed it. So many people are dying fast now that our world is becoming such a painfull place to live. I feel like stopping the world and getting off. It hurts to be here. GRIEF is so very painfull. I wish it didn't hurt so much. I have had such a bad grief day. I am now wondering who will look after my grown single daughter when I die? How is your mother and your siblings managing their grief? Kate you will never recover such a loss. You will just get to live with your loss in time. But your world will never be the same again without your father in it. My world won't be the same without my husband in it. I hate every day. I can't look beyond my world of Grief. But we soldier on like we have to do when we have children to look after. My husband died slowly over 3yrs. suffering pneumonia, a heart attack, blood clots with daily injections. Shingles in the eye. and so much medication all with side effects. He was in so much pain it made my heart bleed for him. I have lost my motivation to do anything. A man works so hard for his family and looks forward to his retirement and many die before they have the chance to retire. Life is very UNFAIR.

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