For about a year my relationship of 11 years had been deteriorating and by February this year I had emotionally and physically left the relationship even though we were still living together. About this time, quite by chance I met a man who I instantly connected with and so begun a very fast intensive and passionate affair He totally 'love bombed' me telling me everything I had been longing to hear for so long a making me feel loved and very very special. Naturally I put myself forward totally and after a few weeks I left my home and set up in a flat by myself. Initially this made my new relationship idyllic although there was an ex that kept cropping up in person and in conversation. Warning bells did ring but I was so in love with this man I ignored them. he talked about our future and I was happier than I had been in years. Then bang........In 24 hours I went from being 'the one' to being the one he lied to and without warning, the one who he left to go back to his ex who he said he realised he was still in love with.
I was shattered and the person who came to help me pick up the pieces was my former partner who then professed his love for me and regrets for letting our relationship run into so much trouble. So we have been together again since my break up. The problem is the grief I feel for what I believed I had with the other man and so obviously didn't....and I can't seem to get over it. Its making me unhappy, angry, anxious and full of doubt about my ability to have a good healthy and happy relationship. How can I still love a man who hurt me so deeply, when `i should start to work at building my relationship with my former partner who actually is a good genuine honest and loving man. I have no contact with the ex but see him pass by sometimes. When I do I feel a cold anger against him but the hurt is still in there. I don't know when this will end but wish it would so I can get on with my life.