Lost Love (This is a TRUE story)

I was always cared and loved a girl I went to school with from second grade on. I never thought she cared about me because I was picked on and made fun of with regularity, so I never thought she had feelings for me. Elementary school passed, then high school followed. We were still good friends as she dated others, and I continued to think I would never be good enough for her. I got the courage up to ask her for a kiss as we left high school for the last time, and it was wonderful, but I still never thought we could be together.

A year and a half after our graduation, I now met the woman that was to be my wife. We have been married 23 years with two teenage children. She has been a wonderful, loving, caring spouse, and I love her so much. We have been faithful to each other, and I wouldn't have it any other way. The girl I loved in school married another as well and started a family of her own.

Just recently at a school reuinon we saw each other and caught up on old times, rekindling our friendship from almost 40 years ago. Not until now did we tell each other how we really felt about, and the hurt is great for myself, and I think, for the girl. I will not be unfaithful to my loving wife or my children, but is it wrong to still have feelings for another? I would appreciate any advice.

Thank you.

Comments for Lost Love (This is a TRUE story)

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Dec 11, 2012
by: Anonymous

When I posted my story, I was asking for good, honest advice. This was NOT a private relationship, nor was it ever. This WAS a love that never worked out. This is a friendship and a love that has continued since 1973. My question was can you love two women with your whole heart? Doreen, I THANK you for your advice, but cheating is OUT of the question. Stop worrying, please. My "Lost Love" is a precious friendship that will never die.

Dec 08, 2012
Other followup comments
by: The Original Author

To "Love and Memories: Your story is very similar to mine, except I still have my wife. Your story moved me deeply; I am in a similar situtation and understand the feelings involved. Thank you for sharing.

To Shelly: Thank you. Your advice is wonderful and honest. It helps me to read other peoples thoughts. Bless you both...

Dec 08, 2012
Lost Love (This is a TRUE story)
by: Doreen U.K.

Saying that you can love two people at the same time can be true for some people if they can keep a lid on their feelings. Or if the relationship/friendship was PLATONIC. It matters not how strong a marriage or love relationship is, we live in a fallen world full of temptation. If a man or woman is married to different people but come together for a reunion. You are there with the best of intentions. To catch up on old times and memories and rekindle those memories that can't be forgotton. Because we have feelings and emotions and TEMPTATION is very real. It is wise if one doesn't put themselves in a position where it can all go wrong. Feelings and emotions run high and before you know it LIFE HAS CHANGED FOREVER. Just one weak moment can and will leave one GUILTY and living with REGRET. This is not something one can UNDO.
In this case . It was not a platonic relationship. The clue is in the statement of the author. "Not until now did we tell each other how we felt about ---------- and the hurt is great for myself and for the girl." This is where it could all go wrong. Expressing how you both really felt about each other. Because we are human these feeling and emotions expressed could give way to an affair and the fracture of a marriage that can never recover from INFIDELITY. INFIDELITY is not the GIVING IN. It can also be part of the MEETING UP.

Dec 07, 2012
Love and memories
by: Anonymous

I have someone that will always be in my thought's and heart, I see him in the park and we walk with other's never alone we both know how we feel toward's each other and remember our young love from 1962 when he was drafted into the army I have over three hundred love letter's from him after all these year's my heart flutter's like butterfly's when I see him we give each other a cheek kiss and slightly hug with a whisper of I love you and walk through the park, I sing the song, my heart skip's a beat when we walk down the street I feel a trembling in my bone's .I wrote him a letter when he was in the Army and wrote a part of the song Send me the pillow that you dream on so darling I can dream on it to He reminded me of that letter a few years ago and we both smiled remembering sweet memories. We have done nothing wrong not even holding hand's My husband passed away four years ago and things are still the same between me and my forever love we will never be together we live five hundred miles apart I only see him when I am visiting my family We have special feelings for each other and will always feel the same Good feeling's good memories and I miss my husband and my old love never interfered with the love I have for my husband he was the best and he loved me and only me always did whatever he could to make me happy He was my happiness, Now I only have wonderful memories of our life together for almost forty years God has been and is good to me There is nothing wrong with the way I feel for my old love How can someone go through life loving two men I did and still do

Dec 06, 2012
what could have been
by: SHelley

Perhaps the memories of what could have been are what is really at the root of your feelings here...lost love, unrequited love- you have a good strong relationship with your spouse. Let her know this story. It is NOT wrong to have feelings for someone from our past, and as it has been said, it is how we deal with those emotions that count. Talk these things through with your spouse and you may find that what you have is greater than the imaginings of what may have been- it's really the mysetery that catches our breathe, not the reality.

Dec 04, 2012
A followup comment to you all
by: The Original Author

To Doreen: Thank you. I would never be unfaithful to my wife. The temptation is there, but my wedding vows are serious to me.

To Jan: Thank you. I pray the hurt goes away even after all these years. My family makes up for the hurt of course, but, God help me, I'm still human... :)

To Judith: Thank you. I am not looking for any approval, only good, honest advice, something that people in this world need from time to time...

Life is one big gamble, and we have to live with our decisions. Listening to you three people has helped. Bless all of you...

Dec 04, 2012
Lost Love (This is a TRUE story)
by: Doreen U.K.

NO! It is not wrong to have feelings for another person. It is what you do about those feelings that matters. To continue even a friendship with an old flame is a DANGEROUS GAME. Do the right thing and WALK AWAY. If you don't you will endanger your marriage. Once you are unfaithfull you will not be able to live with the guilt and you will have fractured your marriage in a way that will be hard to recover from. You will hurt so many people. You have lived apart from each other for 40yrs. Why would you even contemplate meeting up? What are you hopeing will come out of this meeting up? This is a different reunion. You loved this girl. This makes a difference. Old feelings can come to the surface and unbalance your life and your marriage and then one starts looking at their marriage and start to find flaws. There is no PERFECT marriage or relationship. If you have a good marriage and you Love your wife YOU WILL WALK AWAY. If you play with FIRE you will get BURNED.
I hope you DO THE RIGHT THING AND STAND BY YOUR WIFE AND FAMILY. You will live with less stress and you will be happier for having made the right decision.

Dec 04, 2012
by: Anonymous

I read your story and was very moved. I believe that you love your wife very much and I admire you being faithful to your wife and as you say, your children too, as they are always involved in one way or another. The girl at school, was your first love, if you like and those feeling don't go away but you pushed them aside because you have a good wife, your not doing anything wrong, in those feelings that you once felt when you were younger, we all remember our first love but that's not wrong, your doing nothing wrong, carry on living your contented life with your wife and just carry on living your family life that you have for all those years. Your doing nothing wrong.. Jan

Dec 04, 2012
Let it Stay Lost
by: Judith in California

You made a vow to God and your wife to love , honor and cherish and to forsake all others. So you do not get to have feelings for someone else unless it wouldn't bother you for your wife to have feelings for someone else.

If you're looking for approval to do otherwise you came to the wrong place..most of us have lost the loves of our lives through death. WE would give our last breath to have them back to love honor and cherish.

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