Lost mom and dad 5 weeks apart
My mom had been in and out of the hospital all of 2012 with infection in her body. She had spent so much time in bed that she went to a rehab facility after leaving the hospital for physical therapy. She was doing well and I had about 2 or 3 months with her. I received a call one night and she had been taken back to the hospital for respiratory failure. I had to make the decision to put her on a ventilator. I spent more nights of 2012 sleeping next to her in the hospital, than in my own bed with my husband. She eventually came off the respirator, but still was not doing very well. She was on the respirator twice. The third time she ended up in the hospital, I decided not to put her on the respirator. I watched her having a heart attack in the ER, which horrified me to death. Seeing the way her body reacted. When the hospital found out she was dying, they just pushed her in the corner and forgot about her. That was not going to happen. One of the nurses pulled me aside and told me we needed to call hospice. I did not know very much about them, but I am so glad I put her there. At this point, mom was telling me to let me go, I am ready to go. She has been sick for so long and was in so much pain. She arrived at hospice on a Friday night and my brother and I took my dad to see her. He had been diagnosed with alzheimers and was telling her to get better and come back to him. We could not tell him how sick she was. My brother and I spent the nights with her. He slept in the little bed and I slept in the chair holding her hand, with my head on her shoulder. We lost her Sunday at 2 pm on January 20, 2013. My husband, my brother, and myself was with her. I held her hand the entire time and tried to be strong for her, but I couldnt stop the tears from running down my face. We had the chaplin to say a prayer for her and as we said Amen, she passed. The chaplin told me it was like that gave her permission to go. I had told her to do what she needed to do when she told me she wanted to go. I told her I loved her no matter what. We decided not to tell dad because he was so confused by then. About 2 weeks after her funeral, he had a really lucid day and asked about mom. I told him the truth. He cried and told me atleast she wasn't in pain anylonger. They spent their 60th anniversary on December 24th in the hospital next to her bed, holding her hand, crying and praying. We made sure they were together. After losing mom, dad basically gave up.
On March 4, 2013, my brother decided to take the day off work and he went to sit with me and dad. We sat with him all day. We recognized the breathing by then and knew he was dying. I held his hand and told him that I loved him. I apologized that I had to put him in a nursing home for the last two months. He was so frail by this time and didn't even recognize me. We lost him that night at 7 pm.
I feel as if I can still get in the car and go see them, but I know I can't. I cry everyday. My mom was my best friend and I miss her so much. Their memories are everywhere. My mom and dad both worked on my house when i was building it and I see them everywhere. My mom helped me paint the railings with a feather dusted and my dad helped me put marble around the fireplace.
My parents meant the world to me and I don't know how I can go through life without them. Without my mom calling on my birthday and singing happy birthday out of key to my dad coming whenever I needed him.
It is bad enough to lose one parent, but to lose both so close together, it is horrible. I feel lost and like I have been left all alone. Now it is just myself, my husband and my brother. I have cried for 3 months now everyday.