Lost Mother to ALS 17 yrs ago....that was yesterday

by hearsay
(Wilmiongton DE)

Mother filled my life with full possession through 27 years of my life, a marriage and a miscarriage. She gave me courage and love I could not get from 2nd husband. He was terrified of intimacy. I was a pleaser: the best daughter, wantabe best wife, and a driven loving mother. It was a rocky time between college and the 2nd marriage. She learned to back off and let me ruin my own life. I had lived in a 2nd marriage of "I'll work for love"; Mother gave me the reinforcement and love that He could not. Burn out was barreling down on me. Then it happened... her fatigue, difficulty swallowing and short breath was diagnosed as ALS. I stepped up to the plate,I gave her my all as caregiver, fearless advocate and the Love of my Life. Physicians gave her 3 days; we maintained her in our home for 3.5 years of joy,companion and facing the inevitable in grace and beauty. The troubled marriage was left to survive on its own. The children felt love and needs met by me. Husband lived to be taken care of and mothered. Burn out came and he was unable to help shoulder my reality. My mother and children gave me purpose that I never felt with him. I was lost without Mother (Naomi and Ruth); ALS had been a greedy and relentless disorder. It was exhausting watching a beautiful rose dry up and wither away to dust. I was grasping to hold on to life; husband was still very resentful and just as terrified to comfort me or begin to share passion. Later,17 years,I learned he suffered P.I.O.S. and personality challenges. I only began to feel almost balanced as of this year 2012. That has been 3 years after the divorce. I miss my baby, my best friend, Mother. We were meant to be a team most longer than 42 years.

Comments for Lost Mother to ALS 17 yrs ago....that was yesterday

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Apr 19, 2012
change in the personality of daughter left behind
by: Anonymous

On the road through caring for the ALS patient,Mother,there had been no time to stop and see the changes in me, the caregiver. It was the stroke symptoms and long term effects of stress and depression that slowed me to a crawling stop. My health had changed so severely. Mental and physical changes left me barely able to care for my growing young children. Therapy informed me that I was recovering for PTSD. I was sorry part of me had died with mother. It was hard work to manage the illness at home; no regrets for the care I gave. I have not been restored, even now. Mow I grieve that lost part of me. I will keep trying to build health and seek adult companionship. I miss Mother so much; it still feels like a fresh amputation. She had so much more to do as Lady and Grandmother.

Apr 17, 2012
POIS error
by: Anonymous

Post offered PIOS....POIS is probably what was intended. It is Post Orgasmic Injury Syndrome.

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