lost my beautiful 30 year daughter 1 1/2 weeks ago

by a grieving mom

Seems like yesterday my beautiful daughter Jessica died of a ruptured Thoracic aortic aneurysm, i arrived at the hospital after she had passed, it was sudden, now she is gone, I am torn apart.I jut need to speak with others who unfortunately lost an older child. Some many tell me they understand, but how could they begin. I just want her to give me a sign that she is ok. I spoke with her the day before she passed, she was so happy life was good, I am so thankful we told each other we love you..I thank God to have that..I have such a pain in my heart..I called my daughter almost every other day, she was my friend..thank you for listening

Comments for lost my beautiful 30 year daughter 1 1/2 weeks ago

Click here to add your own comments

Aug 22, 2013
by: Patti

I lost my 37 year old daughter November 25th 2011.She was hit by a car crossing a street on her way to work.I just passed her birthday this weekend.I think of her all the time.We were close,sometimes we argued.Maybe we wouldn't talk for a couple days.We were mother and daughter.I loved her so much she loved me.I haven't gotten over it.I don't know if it gets easier.I don't think so.A friend of mine is 94 she still grieves her daughter she lost at the same age of mine.

Sep 10, 2012
I lost my son of 29 yrs old
by: Rosa

Grieving mom, my heart goes out to you. I too lost a grown child and I too hurt so intensely that at times I felt I couldn't survive the pain. It has been 1year, 3 months & 10 days since my son died. He was shot & died at the hospital from internal bleeding. Of course the way my son & your daughter died were completely different but none the less, they were both sudden which made it worse because this type of death does not give us time for anything. I was in shock & found it hard to believe at times. I would tell myself that it was an awful nightmare and that I would awake from it but it never happened. I have come to understand that when a person experiences a death we automatically become a separate breed of people. People want to help us but they can't, they try to say things to make us feel better but they don't know what to say. I have realized that the best thing to do is seek out others who have also lost a close loved one because they understand exactly what we are going through. Every loss is different but you will be surprised to know how many are experiencing the same thing you may be experiencing. after my son passed away I longed to have a dream of him so I could once again see him at least through a dream but it didn't happen for such a long time but I eventually did dream of him and it made me so happy. I also wanted to know, like you that he was ok & in heaven with no more worries & by praying to the Holy Spirit, I got such an awesome answer from the Holy Spirit confirming that my son was in heaven & that he was very happy now. If you would like to communicate with me, my email address is: garzas6110@att.net. I will be praying for Gods healing on you & that God give you the strength to go on until its time for you to reunite with your daughter. God bless you.

Sep 10, 2012
by: Sheryl

I read the comment you posted for me , as well as your story. I am so sorry for your loss. I am feeling the same way. It's been 8 1/2 weeks since my Allyson passed away and we still have no cause. I have not dreamt about her or felt her presence or anything and it devastates me. I need to know she's ok. I would love to be able to talk or email with other parents going through the same thing. My email is wirednatl@hotmail.com

Sep 10, 2012
by: Lisa

Another trying day so far, I did send my daughter and email and told her how much I love and miss her,
but could not write all that I planned, its too hard.
i am so thankful for this site, just being able to sit and type, has become a form of therapy , I am alone most of the time, friends offer to come by, I just don't want to see anyone, I know they are truly sorry for my lost, but go on about the passing of their pets or elderly parents. I lost my dad a year ago he was 81, I cried for a day, he lived a full life, my child had so much more living to to do.
All I want to do is to hold her. and know she is happy and safe, I pray and no answers.
I am still unable to eat much,is almost like i can't enjoy food knowing my daughter can no longer eat, has anyone else felt this way?
Tomorrow will be 2 weeks. Thank you for listening
once more

Sep 09, 2012
One minute, hour, day at a time
by: Lynne

The worst thing that can happen to a mother has happened to you. Do not think too far ahead. I know that at some point you will have to function well enough to go back to work, but worrying about that on top of this recent tragedy is too much.

This grieving is unrelenting. Let yourself sob, keen, talk to Jessica (she's still there), stay in bed...whatever or how little you can do. I hope you have some family or friends to support you in these early days.

I wish I could do more to help you but it is such a personal and lonely loss.

Much love to you and all of us who are sadly here.

Sep 08, 2012
by: Lynne(Texas)

Lisa, my email is petrie01@hotmail.com. Please don't hesitate to get in touch.

Sep 08, 2012
thank you
by: Lisa

Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers, i am so sorry for your childs passing also.
I cried for hours today, so many tears i feel so drained i can't eat, sleep little, can not cook
seems all I can do is cry and clean house and talk to my Jessica. I just want to make this all go away, and wake up and my baby will be back with me.
Then there is reality, I am self employed will have to get back to work soon to survive , it is all so overwhelming. i am so grateful to have found this site I don't feel so alone...

Sep 08, 2012
Lynne texas
by: Lisa

Please I would appreciate your hrlp

Sep 08, 2012
lost my beautiful 30year daughter 1 1/2 weeks ago.
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear grieving Mom, I am sorry for your loss of your 30yr. old daughter. You are torn in two is understandable. This is your Adult child. You wouldn't expect this to happen to someone who is young and healthy. I lost my 30yr. old nephew. My sister was mad with grief. She had to have a counsellor come to her home to support her. A sudden death is hard to deal with more so because you did not get to the hospital in time. You didn't get to say all the things you needed to say. Your soul is bleeding from this loss. An aneurysm is a silent killer. It happens so quickly one has little hope of survival. My sister who lost her son at 30yrs. almost lost her husband 2 years ago of an aneurysm. her youngest son would not take NO for an answer from the doctor and got his Dad to the hospital and he could have died. Doctors missed vital signs. Speed is of the essence here as is also accuracy. It is a miracle that Paul survived. My sister still can't cope with the loss of her son. She is broken in two. Thank God she didn't lose her husband also. I think she would have ended her life in the madness of her grief. My youngest daughter is 31yrs. I couldn't bear it if I lost her. I feel vulnerable now since I lost my husband of 44yrs. 4 months ago from cancer. My grief is unbearable as yours will be also. Each persons PAIN is PERSONAL to them. I wouldn't attempt to tell you I know how your feel. I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. No 2 losses can ever be compared. it would be an insult to do so. Please consider a grief counsellor to support you at this difficult time of a sudden death. Often this type of grief is just too much to bear. May God comfort you at this difficult time and give you PEACE.

Sep 08, 2012
I hear you and I know
by: Debra

Dear Friend - I so hear you and I so know for I lost my first daughter in 2007 and my second and only remainging daughter in 2009. Laurie had just turned 39 by a few days and Stacy was 38. I am still lost and all those cliches' that people like to say to you - well, they just do not understand. It is a devastating loss when you lose a child at any age for any reason. So many have commented that they were our future and that is so true. I know other's like you from this web site and other web sites walking this valley of tears but it still feels like I am doing it all alone. I didn't go for counseling or get on any anti-depressants so my emotions are constantly battling with my coping skills. All I can tell you is - you will have many ups and downs. You will hear comments from friends thinking they are helping you that will send you to bed in tears. Just know - you are not going crazy - you are a grieving mother and it will take many forms and there are no right ways or wrong ways to grieve. There is no time limit. I still cry - the shower became my friend as I could cry my eyes out and not have to try and explain anything. For me - I believe I will be on this journey for the rest of my life. Ups - downs - tears - utter sadness -- but I have laughed, I have smiled, I have gotten together with friends (those who understand) but I will never get over my loss or be the person I once was. I don't even know this new person or if I like her -- yet. Blessings

Sep 08, 2012
I'm here for you if you want to talk
by: Lynne (Texas)

I do understand your devastating pain. I lost my beautiful daughter Jessica who was also 30 six months ago.

There are no words to describe this path. I'm so terribly sorry that you lost your baby. If talking to another mom in a similar situation would be of help, please just respond here and I'll give you my contact information.

There are many kind people on this site whose posts will let you know that you are not alone. My heart and prayers go out to you and your family as you suffer through this.

Sep 08, 2012
I Know
by: rayolife

My 28 yr old son David served proudly with the US Army 82nd Parachute Infantry Regiment, guarded the 2004 elctions in Iraq, served 15 month deployment, sleeping on the rocks in the snow until they could build B-huts to live in, trained the Afghan police, built forts along the Afghanistan /Pakistan border. Returned home and joined the Army Reserves waiting to return to Afghanistan in 2009, while on leave he was struck head-on by a commercial tanker while driving to meet his fiancee for lunch!!!!!!Total devastation...After all those years of waiting and dreading that he would be killed by the enemy's bullets,and unlicensed, repeat DUI offender took his life, robbed us of our entire future plans together. The offender only served 8 days in jail for a young so who so bravely and courageously defended his country!!!!It's been 4 years of hell, and I still have days that I can hardly function.Do everything you can to honor your daughter's legacy. I send care packages to soldiers, volunteer for highway safety programs, sponser a scholarship in my son's memory,donated to churches and charities,clean up a secton of the highway where he was killed,participate with The Patriot Guard Riders who honor fallen soldiers and veterans,etc,etc. I had to take a 6 months leave of absence from work.(I am retired now, thank God) Seek counseling, talk to friends who will let you go on and on for hours, read positive, encourage in books, write in a journal.Push forward, drive hard, it is a very difficult journey!!!

Sep 08, 2012
lost my beautiful.....
by: malgosia

Dear grieving mom, I am sorry for the loss of your daughter, I know the pain, for me is 10 weeks today since I lost my life my 30 year old son. I wish I could tell you is getting better, but I can not tell you that. Is not getting easer. My heart is still hurting like the day when my son left, I still cry every day. I am tired of people telling me, that I must take care of my self. What is the point of taking care of myself, when my future is gone. Don't let no one tell you how you should feel, or what you should do. We all have our own way of grieving and going another day without our child. The only think I know, we have the need to talk about our kids, we do not want people to talk to us like our children did not exist , we like to hear their name and tell all world how wonderful they were.So write about your daughter, talk about her and cry. I am with you with my prayers and my grief.
I went for meeting with group called the compassionate friends, it is parents who lost child, When you ready you may like to try to go and meat people who understand what you talking about. For now, try to breath, because God knows, i try to stop.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Adult Child.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief

Free Griefwork

Free Stress

SBI Video Tour!