Lost my beautiful mamita and my only friend Feb.14, 2014
(Toronto, Ontario, Canada)
Mamita and Me 2013
We were both abandoned by our fathers...and when my father left never to be heard of seen from again since I was 6 my mother and I became very close. We lived together until she died. I am 47 and she was 80 when she had a massive stroke and suddenly died. I have no other family left. I have no husband...no children. I have my cat and one good close friend. I don't know what to do. I feel totally lost. I'm ok and accepting for a while...they I just scream out and cry uncontrollably for my mommy. She was my everything. I feel so alone. Moments I miss her...moments i'm angry that she left me. Moments I feel bad that we didn't always get along...we argued about stupid things sometimes. I regret any time I ever said anything nasty to her. I wish I could take it all back and just show her how much I loved her. I didn't have a chance to tell her i love you...she immediately went into a coma...but I hope she is with me and sees how much I am suffering. I don't know if I can go on. She was my rock... I didn't want to leave her alone and hurt her. Now there is nothing...just a big void and i wonder why I am on this earth. I don't want to be here anymore. But I'm afraid my grandmother father and brother have all passed. I am lost with out her. I have her pictures and haven't cleaned out her room. I'm afraid to rid of anything. I'm afraid of life without her.