Lost my beloved father, he committed suicide due to depression

by Anthony
(NY)

A year ago to the day he stopped working he passed away my beloved father committed suicide by hanging himself due to depression. My father was a God fearing man had 2 beautiful children and a nephew he loved.

My mother called me as I was in the gym and said in my native language he is hung which could mean he fell or got hung up on something, so I rushed over to my mothers home only to see my father at the top of the stairs with a rope that is used to hold the curtains back that my mom used. I could not leave my father in that position so I picked him up and placed him down. I could not believe my eyes as my father never showed any signs of depression and kept it all bottled inside about his not working and being bored worrying about bills his kids lives etc. They were about to move to Florida and enjoy there new home.

The sadness coupled by the thought that my beloved father committing suicide like he did without even a clue to how he felt is eating me up alive inside, no one should have to see there beloved father in that was as I did, I wish that on no one.

My Dad was a god fearing man religious I pray the Lord shows mercy on his soul. I love you Dad and will miss you forever and beyond.

Comments for Lost my beloved father, he committed suicide due to depression

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Mar 01, 2013
Had depression now 34yrs. - genetic not nice
by: Doreen U.K.

Dear Anonymous,
I am sorry for your post about being depressed for 34yrs. and still struggling. I am happy that you were saved by your son. You were meant to LIVE. But don't think you have to live with depression. I suffered depression for 40yrs. Till I went to see a psychologist/counsellor sourced for me by a friend. It was the saving of me and the best Investment I made. It was expensive and very painful. I am so Happy I did it. I no longer live with depression. It was money well spent. No words can express how I feel now. I am now 64yrs. and have a better quality of life till I die. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 10 months ago to cancer and I am feeling miserable. I would not have coped well had I not had these years of support in counselling. I related better within the family that helped everyone. If you are able to see a counsellor. DO IT. You won't regret it. It has to be the right person for you. You will get better in ways you wouldn't believe. It will also benefit your children by knowing that you are Well. It will stop them worrying about you. Those people who comment that you look mentally ill see you later on. They will be the one's who will look mental to you. Don't let anyone put you down or steal your confidence. Believe in yourself. You can do it. You can be happy again and find life more meaningful no matter how old you are. Don't let depression defeat you. You are Bigger than your Depression. I say this to everyone who is suffering DEPRESSION. Do something about it. You don't have to live this way just being put on medication. Find out from your doctor if you can get counselling on a sliding scale fee which would be affordable. No one should suffer like this without support. Best wishes to all of you. If anyone wants support. email me doreenelkington@aol.com

Mar 01, 2013
Depression
by: Doreen U.K.

Lee I am sorry to hear about what is happening to you in life with a husband who has depression. It should not be taken lightly if someone is even mentioning "Suicide". This is a warning signal that the person is not coping with life and its difficulties. I suffered with depression all my life till I came to the end of my rope and wanted to end my life as I couldn't cope anymore. Everything was all mixed up and I couldn't untangle it all. I was fortunate that my Pastor's wife got me a counsellor. I was very resistant to seeing a psychologist/counsellor who was very expensive. But I did go. I went for many years. It was extremely painful. BUT IT WORKED. I started to improve. I couldn't believe how good I felt. Even though I had the same people, and the same situations to deal with. Nothing had changed in my world except ME. I started to relate in a way that benefited everyone around me. They became more positive as a result. I lost my sensitivity that would happen on a daily basis relating with family members and other people. I became for the first time a WHOLE more INTEGRATED Person. I was in my 40's and for the first time I FELT GREAT. It was the best money I spent. The best INVESTMENT. My depression LEFT. I was LIVING for the first time in my life. I then gave back by working Voluntary for 8 years in Mental Health. I learned a lot and developed skills I can use to benefit other's. I hope that you can get this same benefit from seeing a counsellor. It will help you and your husband since he doesn't want to see anyone. Even if one partner goes into counselling it can strengthen the whole family. When your husband is angry with you (which is misplaced anger) you won't be so badly affected by it when you have resolved a lot of your own hurt from your relationship and family members who buried your father without you knowing, which is hurtful beyond belief. Also try and establish boundaries between you and your siblings and cousins etc. An unhealthy sharing within a family can cause jealousy and conflict that can worsen your husband's depression. Especially any inheritance of money is a major cause of conflict and jealousy within a family. The less said the better. I hope that things do improve for you, husband and your extended family and that life will get better for you all with the support and help of perhaps a counsellor. Best wishes.

Feb 28, 2013
Depression
by: Lee

My husband, an only child lost his parents 9 years ago ...... he is hoarding, has anger and he is so dependent on me. He is abusive at times, and is so sweet and caring at times. Your comment has helped me to see he is dealing with depression. However, I too lost my parents ... we both did the caregiving and my brothers buried my Dad without me even knowing he was dying. My sister-in-law called me white-trash at my Dad's bedside when I found out about his dying. THey put a lien on his home and I had paid for his funeral to get peace and I'm ok now .... Faith has pulled me through. However, it's very tough as my husband will not get medical help, and shuts down and then up again. I see it is depression and at times I hear "suicide" in him as he has blockages he's not dealing with. He will not hear of anyone passing away and his anger is directed towards me that I am abnormal to keep dealing with loved ones death and to just not deal with it. He says he is very weak, and it is too much pressure. I've tried repeatedly to get him to get help and he has lost all his friends and cousins, etc. You have opened my eys to what he is going through .... he has inherited money and over the lifetime he didn't seem too close to his parents and talked badly about them. It's tough for me to believe he even loved them. We were even separatd for two years, and we love each other ..... but it is taking a toll for me to take his anger. I will see him through however I need to. Thanks for your comments as many women don't understand what men do with grief. It surely helps. Thank you so much!

Feb 16, 2013
had depression now 34 years-genetic-not nice
by: Anonymous

Just read about the suicide-So sorry -but i could have been there too-my son found me in our garage with gas into my car-I have suffered from depression for 39 years-i am no 62 and still fighting the battle-My children were horrified what i had attempted to do=but when you are in that state believe me it feels better to get rid of all what is happening in your day to day life-plus people look at me as mentally sick-which im not.Hope this helps you-depression is not funny.

Feb 06, 2013
Lost my beloved father, he committed suicide due to depression
by: Doreen U.K.

Anthony I am sorry for your loss of your father to a sudden death by suicide. You and your mom should try and get some grief counselling. This is such a horrific tragedy. Almost all types of death require the support of a trained counsellor. Either you or you mom may still be struggling. Sad to say that when a man or main breadwinner which could be a woman lose their job it can catch up with one and cause depression. If depression has no way of being resolved many people go on to end their lives by way of ending their misery. Many don't want to kill themselves but can find no way out of their situation. A man loses his self esteem and his pride as a man when he loses his work and his ability to support his family. Your father wouldn't have wanted to burden his wife or children with what he was feeling. He should have reached out to someone else perhaps a family member or his doctor to let them know how he was feeling. Many who end their lives don't have time to think of who they are leaving behind and how it will affect their life. All the depressed person can think of is "HOW DO I END MY MISERY." Please don't hold yourself guilty for not being able to guess what was going on in your father's mind. You are not responsible. Parents have boundaries and it is not the place of a parent to burden their children with their worries and concerns. Your father and mother were going off to enjoy life. And so they should. It is a curse for a man to lose his job and then his life due these circumstances. I find that the government does not make things any better either. There are so many families out there in the world worried and sick with fear over how they are going to pay their bills. In 44yrs of marriage my husband lost his job but managed to get one easily. Today is not so easy. My husband died of cancer 10 months ago. I am the one struggling with bills and house problems to put right. There is no joy in life anymore. When you try and pick yourself up another problem knocks you down. But we must all try to rise up and carry on. Not easy. I hope life gets better in the days ahead. if not go and see a counsellor. You will realise the benefits and you will start to feel better again.

Feb 04, 2013
Thank you
by: Anthony

Thank you for the kind words, god bless you and your son.

Feb 03, 2013
You
by: Kate

You precious child,what you have had to carry! That is a tremendous loss . I can tell you really loved your father and that he was a good man. Depression is so strong sometimes on people that they loose all hope,they loose their way and can not see a brighter day. I've not known how to help depressed ones. Your father is in Gods hands now. I lost my 39 yr old son recently. He is there also. We must try to continue on and remember the good. Much love to you.

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