Lost my best friend 10/15/12

by Heather

My dad the joker

My dad the joker

My dad passed away 10/15/12. He was battling cancer for 2 years and passed away from an infection. My dad was my best friend and my first. I am the female version of my dad, we loved Christmas, country music, comedies and we loved to laugh. This has been the hardest thing I have ever been through. I miss his so much, especially this week with Christmas, nothing is the same. Everyone in my family has moved on and I hide the fact that I am ok with it but I am not. We did not have a service for dad and I am very angry about that. Dad would give anyone the shirt off of his back, he was always there for his family, he taught me how to be a parent. He would always have something to say to make me laugh. He helped my sons when they needed emotional support, he taught my husband how to be a husband. Dad was and is my hero, he was my protector. Dad was a chicago police officer and did his job very well, he recieved many awards. My dad worked very hard to buy a house and to give his kids and grandkids what he could. I feel like I lost my better half, I am not happy anymore I am mad at my family and especially my mom. She has moved on and she and my husband have grown closer. I feel like I am on the outside looking in, I do not have my buddy to talk to anymore I dont have my support group or my rock. I want people to know how important dad is to me but I dont know how. Dad was a very big fan of superheros, his favorite was Thor. Dad was my superhero and will always be, there will forever be a hole in my heart wherer dad should be. I love you dad.

Comments for Lost my best friend 10/15/12

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Dec 29, 2012
Lost my best friend 10/15/12
by: Doreen U.K.

Heather I am so sorry for your loss of your father to cancer.
You don't have to prove to people how good your dad was. They will know what man he was. Everyone has different memories. You have yours and they have theirs by their interaction and relationship with him. Your memories are private and personal to you. You are doing a WONDERFUL job of HONOURING your father now.
Because your mother didn't have a service for your dad this has made you angry. Find out if there is some way that you can do this NOW for yourself, and peace of mind. Gather the people you need for this service and try to see a priest or pastor or someone who can help you set it up. You can all give your EULOGY at this service.
You have your reasons for being angry with your mom. Try and see a grief counsellor who is skilled to help you work through your anger issues around your grief which should be validated. Your anger may very well evaporate in time. Try and resolve the problems you can otherwise it will only affect you later if someone dies and you did not try to resolve this. Some problems you won't be able to resolve and may have to walk away from. You will find your way through this. Your father will have left his imprint on your heart and you will be able to live these values out in your own life and be passed on to your children. This way your father will be living on inside of you all in the way you live and emulate his life. These values you will never forget they are also part of your genetic makeup, and legacy.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to lung cancer 8 months ago and my in-laws trashed an ornament heart I put down for my husband honouring my love for him. So I have had to remove all the flowers. I had my garden landscaped and making a memorial in my backyard for my BELOVED HUSBAND. I will be able to HONOUR him here and at the graveyard. I have made a beautiful MEMORIAL for him. I just hope no one trashes this. WE had to go to the police after the funeral and take out a harassment order as if coping with the loss was not bad enough. WE had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL Service for my husband. He was Honoured in such a way that other people were very BLESSED and Healed from this service. My In laws did not like this because they are of a different Religious Faith and wanted my husband buried their way and custom after 2 days. But I still RESPECTED my husband's family by giving them the BURIAL and not the CREMATION my husband wanted. I was just accused of hurting them by leaving my husband's body for 20 days. Steve died of an Industrial Disease. He worked with Asbestos and so there had to be a Coroner's Inquest. My in-laws did not believe or understand this and so hurled out insults and persecution to me. But I am CONTENT I did all things Well and Included everyone as best as I could.
You will be able to move forward in time from your Loss. But your Grief will be Intense due to your strong Bond and Love for your Dad.

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