Lost my best friend and wonderful mother
My mom and I began living together in 1989 when my dad passed away. We helped each other through the grief process and were almost constant companions, sharing a house, everything actually. Then, 1 1/2 years later, we ended up facing the death of my 17 year old niece in a car accident and three days later, my brother (her uncle) suddenly died while in Alaska with us to attend the funeral of my niece. This sent us reeling. We, again, forged through this aweful tragedy of two deaths in the family within one week. We became closer yet and leaned on each other for strength through the grief process again. To say the least, we were much closer than a lot of mothers and daughters. We enjoyed life together while I worked full time to support us. We were bonded emotionally and, actually, became a unit of sorts. We faced the deaths of my mom's brothers, then in 1997 tragedy again struck our immediate family with the sudden death of another of my brothers who had been a great moral/ emotional support for the both of us. We felt devistated even more by his death.
Shortly after, my mom faced a crisis of her own when a botched heart catheterization caused her to almost bleed out entirely. By a miracle of God, she pulled through. We, again, continued to walk through the grief process for my brother.
Long story short, we leaned on each other, found strength and companionship, were family to each other since the rest of our family is 2,000 miles away...she meant the world to me and I have been focused on taking care of her and getting her through multiple health problems, monitoring her...and, for the past three years providing caregivers and caregiving.
I witnessed her suffer a massive stroke Friday morning...she is now gone from me and I am devistated, haunted by the sight and sound of the violent death of my dear, dear mom and best friend.
We are taking her across the country to be buried by my dad.
I will return alone and do not want to be alone...actually I have been so focused on my mom for so long, I don't know how I will handle it. .....Just facing facts, I know it will be heart wrenching and difficult to function. I have trouble sleeping in the master bedroom where I had my mom's hospital bed and my bed so that I could hear hear and attend to her if she needed me. I am haunted and heartbroken by the way she died.
I need a miracle of God to help me through this.I don't even know how I will stay in my house after this...