Lost my best friend, girlfriend, and fiancé

by Crys
(San Mateo )

My name is Crys and I lost my fiancé like 3 months ago. It was my fault. I have always been a very jealous person. Jessica, my fiancé let me know that she was still friends with an ex. I completely lost it and said so many things I didn't mean. The next day I apologized and promised to get help to control my temper and learn how to let me feelings out without hurting her. I even got a therapist to help me through the process.
But it was too late. She decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. I moved out of her house and she gave everything back to me, including the engagement ring. She looked me in my eyes and said "we are never getting back together". That was the knife through my heart.
My actions destroyed the 2 year relationship that had me so happy. That argument was one of the only ones we ever had, and the last.
It's been months and I still can't forgive myself for the words I chose on that sad January night. Now I'm just trying to move on and accept that this is the way things are going to be. I know time heals everything but right now it doesn't feel like it.
She herself told me that she forgave me and she does think I can change but that she won't be around to see it. I miss her so much and sometimes the anxiety just kills me because now I look at it and tell myself how stupid I was for getting mad at something so insignificant. She did nothing but prove her loyalty to me over and over and I ****** it up.

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Mar 31, 2014
Lost my best friend, girlfriend, and fiance
by: Doreen UK

Crys you didn't lose your fiancé Jessica for nothing. She was still friends with her EX. Even if you do have a problem with anger for which you have taken responsibility for, something triggered off your anger. Your fiancé has to take some of the responsibility for being friends with an EX. She should respect your feelings of jealousy. If Jessica was committed to you she would put your mind at rest and support you with your need to see a counsellor. Jessica may not be mature enough to handle your relationship. I have a son who was in the same situation. His girlfriend was still seeing her EX. My son was jealous. She went as far as to buy an apartment and put her EX in this apartment, she would buy him things whilst telling my son that he wasn't earning enough money to buy her what she needed. She put pressure on him. He would go and ask his boss for a Raise. He was heartbroken. He put up with so much. His father and I advised him to leave her as this relationship wouldn't work. My son even went into counselling. To cut a long story short. My son married this girl. She put in a prenuptial whilst giving the EX everything. His father died of cancer 23 months ago and my son left after the funeral and I haven't heard from him. If he is happy this is good. But I refuse to rescue him again. I came off worse. He has to learn to make his own mistakes and mature from them. I am sad for you. Get the counselling and see it through to the end. You will be in a much happier place. You will meet the right person for YOU. I know it hurts when you love someone so much and you lose them. Accepting responsibility is your first step into maturity and healing from your loss. Keep your chin up and look forward to what life holds for you and don't let anger ruin it. You will find happiness, and hopefully keep it. It is all about respecting each other. I hope you heal from your broken heart and life starts getting better for you.

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