Lost my best friend, girlfriend, and fiancé
(San Mateo )
My name is Crys and I lost my fiancé like 3 months ago. It was my fault. I have always been a very jealous person. Jessica, my fiancé let me know that she was still friends with an ex. I completely lost it and said so many things I didn't mean. The next day I apologized and promised to get help to control my temper and learn how to let me feelings out without hurting her. I even got a therapist to help me through the process.
But it was too late. She decided she didn't want to be with me anymore. I moved out of her house and she gave everything back to me, including the engagement ring. She looked me in my eyes and said "we are never getting back together". That was the knife through my heart.
My actions destroyed the 2 year relationship that had me so happy. That argument was one of the only ones we ever had, and the last.
It's been months and I still can't forgive myself for the words I chose on that sad January night. Now I'm just trying to move on and accept that this is the way things are going to be. I know time heals everything but right now it doesn't feel like it.
She herself told me that she forgave me and she does think I can change but that she won't be around to see it. I miss her so much and sometimes the anxiety just kills me because now I look at it and tell myself how stupid I was for getting mad at something so insignificant. She did nothing but prove her loyalty to me over and over and I ****** it up.