Lost my bestfriend

I lost my mom on July 14th 2013 from an accidental drug overdose. She was only 37. Im 18 (17 when she passed away). I feel so much guilt from her death. The night before she passed,we were fighting so we ended on bad terms :/ . The next morning when I went to go wake her up, she was gone. I could tell right when I walked in her room.
I don't even know what kind of greiving im having. I feel fine and then sometimes Im a mess. I feel like it really hasent even hit me yet, it doesnt even feel like shes gone.
She was my bestfriend. It's always been her,my little sister & me .. I don't really know what to
write,but writing in these grief blogs seem to help a little bit and knowing im not alone with loosing my mom. :/

Comments for Lost my bestfriend

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Mar 16, 2014
I understand
by: Anonymous

I completely understand how you feel, I'm seventeen and I just lost my mom to a drug overdose five months ago. It was so unexpected and the night before I saw her and then the morning I woke up, I was told she had died. I just can't find an answer to why these things happen. There are days when I'm fine and other days where I'm a complete mess. My mom and I were inseparable, I feel so empty at times. I'm mad, I'm upset, and I miss her so much. Just keep hanging in there.

Mar 05, 2014
I understand
by: Anonymous

I'm very sorry about what happened to your mother. I'm 18 as well and I lost my little brother in 2012 and it still doesn't feel real for me. I understand all the different emotions you are having because I have them as well. Try talking to someone :) music has really helped me, I hope your doing okay.

Mar 04, 2014
Lost my best friend
by: Doreen UK

I am sorry for your loss of your Mom to a sudden death. The type of grieving you are having is normal. One moment you are feeling fine, and then the next a mess. You will also feel for a long time that she hasn't gone and is somewhere else. I lost my husband 21 months ago and I still feel such profound grief more as new memories come in. You are so young to go through such sorrow, but this is becoming more common. I hope that you have a responsible Adult to still care for you otherwise it will be a much more difficult struggle having no one to go to for guidance and support.
Having fights/quarrels in life is normal but a real difficult problem when someone dies just after such a fight that you are not able to resolve the difficulty or try to put it right. You could benefit from a few sessions of grief counselling where you will be able to access the skills of a counsellor to help you resolve the difficulties you are facing just now.
I had a lifetime of unresolved losses and in my 40's I went into counselling and resolved them. I became a more integrated person and happier. It is possible to resolve difficulties if the people who affected your life are not in it anymore. You will be able to resolve the fight you had with your mom just before she died. You will be helped to let it go so it doesn't affect your life. in counselling a lot of my hurt just evaporated and I related better. You need to free yourself of the guilt. It also depends on the skills the counsellor has and uses. You need to nurture yourself with good things each day to build yourself up. Don't put your life on hold. You are young and need to live a normal life eventually being able to have fun and laughter in it. It will take a long time for you to feel some recovery from grief, but it will happen. I take one day at a time and this is how I cope. You will in time find what works for you. If you believe in God He is our Comforter and strength in life and this is another way I cope. My heart goes out to you and your sister for the difficult days you have to endure without your Mom and her guidance. I hope life gets better for you each day and you experience the healing in recovery from grief.

Mar 03, 2014
your mum
by: chickadee

Im so sorry to hear about your mum.
A chill went down my spine when I read your story ,so I feel I need to say something to maybe ease your pain slightly......
Your mum couldn't help it.She loved you both so much.
She had her own pain to bear and while she was here,she has taught you things unconsciously.
So you and your sister can be strong women in your lives.
Go and live make her proud of you maybe do things you would never dream possible.
You will probably help others in your work as you will have an understanding of suffering.
Be strong and confident as you heal day by day.
My dad has gone and every day I talk to his picture.
Every night I remember our moments and how he was in his ways. Sense of humour,etc.
Still feel such a loss and its been a year now.
You still need lots of time.
We will always be with our loved ones.

Mar 03, 2014
Your mom
by: Anonymous

Yes your not alone. I lost my 31 old son to a drug overdose. Its awful. Your right sometimes I can't even believe it happened. Its too hard to accept. They were so young, and how can a drug be so powerful to kill like that. I feel for you because you are so young to have to deal with all this. Your grief will be intense at times. Don't feel bad about the fight. It is love that creates anger. I'm sure your mom knew you loved her. I know my son was ashamed of his drug use. I always told him, I knew it was hard and I would do anything to help him. But unfortunatly we couldn't keep him here. Its been almost a year, and I miss him so much. To honor your mom, remember her goodness and love, and grow to be a person she would be proud of. I feel your pain. Hugs from a stranger, but also a compassionate friend.

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