Lost my brother on 09/20/2010

I am feel like a rollar coaster ever since my brother had died. I feel I can't cry, or don't know how to let it happen. I feel angry at the world but don't show it. I hold in all of my emotions because I don't know how to let it go. I live in Chicago and my brother died in Fla. His grave is in Fla. It is the hardest thing to do is leave my brother to come back to Chicago. I feel I don't have him close to me when I am here and his grave is in Fla. I just want my brother back. I would do anything or give anything to have him back. I just want more time with him and spend more time with him. I feel so angry that I didn't have that time with him. I didn't know he was feeling this way for so long. I am just learning about my brother's problems or feelings now. I am so angry that he gone. How can I let my emotion go? People keep saying I need to keep busy but I don't feel like keeping busy. I just want to crawl under my cover and never come out. But I can't.


I miss you my brother and I wish for lot of things.

Jen