Lost my brother on 09/20/2010

I am feel like a rollar coaster ever since my brother had died. I feel I can't cry, or don't know how to let it happen. I feel angry at the world but don't show it. I hold in all of my emotions because I don't know how to let it go. I live in Chicago and my brother died in Fla. His grave is in Fla. It is the hardest thing to do is leave my brother to come back to Chicago. I feel I don't have him close to me when I am here and his grave is in Fla. I just want my brother back. I would do anything or give anything to have him back. I just want more time with him and spend more time with him. I feel so angry that I didn't have that time with him. I didn't know he was feeling this way for so long. I am just learning about my brother's problems or feelings now. I am so angry that he gone. How can I let my emotion go? People keep saying I need to keep busy but I don't feel like keeping busy. I just want to crawl under my cover and never come out. But I can't.

I miss you my brother and I wish for lot of things.


Comments for Lost my brother on 09/20/2010

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Jan 13, 2011
The many emotions of grief


Keep reading, go over old posts. Grief cannot be forced. I know you want to face it and be done with it...Unfortunately it does not work that way. You are probably still in shock, The numb stage where you just go through the motions.

Something will remind you of your brother and all the tears will flow regardless of where you are. I tended to cry in all places public, Wal Mart.

I certainly do remember the anger of grief, feeling that it isn't fair. Wanting more time and why me? Why Us? Its been a year and a month for me and grief has changed and me with it.

Let grief carry you where it wants. It is one time where you have no control over your life and your emotions. It will change you forever. How your changed I suppose is up to you. I want to make it out of grief without being cynical, angry or pissed off at everyone who does not, can not understand what it is like to lose someone that you love so very much.

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