lost my dad at 61

by October 2011
(Dublin )

hi i went down to the hospital to see my dad he was having a minor operation nothing serious. he was 61 . the day of the operation he was in good form and i said i will see you after the operation. we went for something to eat and when we came back my phone rang there had been a complication in theatre without going into all the detail he had a panic attack and had to be put on a life support machine. i never thought he was going to die for ten days i went into see him and thought he was on the mend but we were told he wasint strong enough to fight. we had to let him go. i cant write anymore about it or il start crying its nine months and it only feels like yesterday. its so hard and im 30 the youngest is 19. i miss him so much and i hope hes with me i really do but sometimes its hard to believe in all that.
anyways thats my story i feel robbed and so does all my family it was such a big shock to us. to lose your dad at 60 is hard to know he will never see his grandchildren or see any of his kids get married. it heart breaking.

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Jul 26, 2012
THANKS
by: Anonymous

thank you for your comments. a woman who works with me in work keeps talking about her dad she has been like that since my dad died. it had got to me so much i feel upset and its like someone stabbing me in the heart. i told my counselor and she told me to say it to her as it was upsetting me i did and she got really thick with me and said no i will not stop talking about my father. maybe if she said im sorry i didn't realize i was upsetting you but no. i miss my dad terribly nine months later and its still very raw. i just robbed at 61. your emails brought me comfort. he didn't know he would be leaving us my poor dad.

Jul 23, 2012
I know how you feel
by: Anonymous

I also lost my father about a year ago in an unexpected way. The doctor also said that his condition was minor and me and my mother received a phone call stating that there were complications and to come to the hospital right away. When we got there my father had already passed away. I can only say that it is still hard even now and there have been studies that state that people achieve a sense of normalcy usually after 5 years. I do not know if it is true because I have not reached that point yet, but, I can tell you this, faith plays a large role in recovery. I do not know if you believe in a higher power, but, it gives meaning to everything that happens in our lives. If you don't believe in a higher power, then, I guess you could try to find a scientific basis such as the second law of thermodynamics, called the law of entropy, which states that all things in the universe start from a stable state and will eventually become chaotic and unstable. In this sense, death is a natural process that must happen to us all. As for me, I believe in God, and, that, in order for us to have meaning in this life, we and those we love must eventually pass away. It is sad that sometimes it happens without any warning, but that is why we should live each day to its fullest and make the biggest difference, because, we never know when it is our time or our loved ones time to pass away. We just have to make the best of what we have and hope that we will one day be united with those we love in heaven.

Jul 21, 2012
lost my dad at 61
by: Dee U.K.

Dear Brokenhearted, I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. Your Dad was young. You will feel robbed because he didn't have any life threatening illness. It is a great shock to lose someone so close and significant in your young life. My husband had a life threatening cancer. He suffered over 3 yrs. I lost him 10 weeks ago today. My youngest daughter is 31yrs. she took it very hard. One is never prepared for this loss. My husband was 65yrs. Still young in today's terms. I feel robbed. I feel cheated out of time for us in his retirement. He worked hard for over 45yrs. He retires. He dies.
Your father is robbed of seeing his children get married. His future with grandchildren. My husband did not get to spend any time with his 2 grandchildren. I don't have a reason to go on in life. But I don't have a Choice. As long as I have breath. I have to live. The joy has gone. All I have is GRIEF. SORROW. LONLINESS. EMPTINESS. I understand how you all as a family feel. It seems as if suffering is all we have in this life. It will take a lot of time for you all to recover from your loss. If it is too painfull. Go see a bereavement counsellor. This is the only way that you all can be supported when in terrible pain of loss. Grief is different for each of us. We have to make an intelligent decision to do this for ourselves and our loved ones when the pain of grief is too hard to bear.

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