Lost my dad on the 12th of July

by Igor
(Amsterdam, Netherlands)


I've just wrote a very big storry about my Big, strong, invinceble, full of humor dad, who lost after a 4 day fight for us. Unfortunately I pushed a wrong button and everything was deleted. It all came down to the fact, that I know realize I've lost my best friend. And the pain feels like none I've ever felt or knew about. I've got a loving family that supports me, but I feel so alone (we're a close family). I mostly just wish it was me, although I know that he would be so mad, for saying this. He always said that it was very selfish to say I wanted to go before my parents so I could avoid the pain. I'm glad I saved him from that pain (maybe worse), because it's unbearable. I'm 24 and most people know me, like a stong kid, like my dad, but I feel like a 11 year old, who just lost his dad in a very scary place. I miss him so much.

** FOR MY DAD **
DAD I LOVE YOU,I MISS YOU. YOUR MY BEST FRIEND AND NO ONE WILL EVER REPLACE YOU. I ALWAYS KNEW I NEEDED YOU, BUT I NEVER KNEW ALL THAT YOU DID FOR ME AND HOW I WOULD FEEL NOW YOUR GONE. THANK YOU, FOR ALL THAT YOU TAUGHT ME. I HOPE I CAN BE HALF THE MAN YOU WERE. MY 2nd TATT IN YOUR REMEMBERANCE IS COMING IN A WEEK AND THE THIRTH IN NOVEMBER. I KNOW YOU WOULD TELL ME I'M CRAZY HAHA, I WISH I COULD STILL PUT A TATTOO WITH YOU. I MISS YOU. I WILL SEE YOU WHEN I GET THERE. IN MEAN TIME, IF POSSIBLE PLEASE WATCH OVER US, LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE. I HOPE I CAN LIVE MY LIFE, LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME TO, WITHOUT YOU THERE.. IK MIS JOU PA EN HOU VAN JOU, WOU DAT IK JE DAT HAD GEZEGD TOEN JE NOG HIER WAS. IK ZAL JE NOOIT VERGETEN PA, JOUW KLEINE JONGEN <3
****

Srry for my possible bad English, but I'm from the Netherlands. Thank you for reading.

Comments for Lost my dad on the 12th of July

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Sep 06, 2012
My Dad is dying ..
by: Anonymous

My Dad is dying and I am 45 and I love my Dad so much and I feel so, so sad.
Thanks Igor for sharing your story and picture of you and your Dad - somehow it gave me some comfort ..

Sep 06, 2012
Los my dad on the 12th of July
by: Doreen U.K.

Igor I am sorry for your loss of your Dad. A Dad is such an important person in any childs life. Even an Adult child will feel this loss as a child would because all these long memories will come back. You will feel like a kid again. It is also the worst pain like nothing you have ever felt before. It is a pain that there is no medication for. Not even morphine would kill this pain. It comes from our SOUL. The centre of our being. It will take a long time to get over this loss. I lost my husband of 44yrs. 4 months ago and so this is a grief I have never felt before. I am not likely to feel this bad ever in life. It has got to be my worst ever experience. Time is all we have to HEAL our souls from this Pain and Sorrow. Having a very strong loving family will help you recover better from your grief. I wish you better days ahead and Peace in your life.

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