Lost my dad on the 12th of July

by Igor
(Amsterdam, Netherlands)

I've just wrote a very big storry about my Big, strong, invinceble, full of humor dad, who lost after a 4 day fight for us. Unfortunately I pushed a wrong button and everything was deleted. It all came down to the fact, that I know realize I've lost my best friend. And the pain feels like none I've ever felt or knew about. I've got a loving family that supports me, but I feel so alone (we're a close family). I mostly just wish it was me, although I know that he would be so mad, for saying this. He always said that it was very selfish to say I wanted to go before my parents so I could avoid the pain. I'm glad I saved him from that pain (maybe worse), because it's unbearable. I'm 24 and most people know me, like a stong kid, like my dad, but I feel like a 11 year old, who just lost his dad in a very scary place. I miss him so much.

** FOR MY DAD **
DAD I LOVE YOU,I MISS YOU. YOUR MY BEST FRIEND AND NO ONE WILL EVER REPLACE YOU. I ALWAYS KNEW I NEEDED YOU, BUT I NEVER KNEW ALL THAT YOU DID FOR ME AND HOW I WOULD FEEL NOW YOUR GONE. THANK YOU, FOR ALL THAT YOU TAUGHT ME. I HOPE I CAN BE HALF THE MAN YOU WERE. MY 2nd TATT IN YOUR REMEMBERANCE IS COMING IN A WEEK AND THE THIRTH IN NOVEMBER. I KNOW YOU WOULD TELL ME I'M CRAZY HAHA, I WISH I COULD STILL PUT A TATTOO WITH YOU. I MISS YOU. I WILL SEE YOU WHEN I GET THERE. IN MEAN TIME, IF POSSIBLE PLEASE WATCH OVER US, LIKE YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE. I HOPE I CAN LIVE MY LIFE, LIKE YOU TAUGHT ME TO, WITHOUT YOU THERE.. IK MIS JOU PA EN HOU VAN JOU, WOU DAT IK JE DAT HAD GEZEGD TOEN JE NOG HIER WAS. IK ZAL JE NOOIT VERGETEN PA, JOUW KLEINE JONGEN <3
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Srry for my possible bad English, but I'm from the Netherlands. Thank you for reading.