Lost my daddy on 12/23/12
My dad is man that is known and loved by EVERYONE in my town. He was such a caring person with a great sense of humor. He put others in front of himself every time. He never met a stranger, just a new friend. I'm just so bothered that in June I left for military training and I got back on December 6th. I arranged a cruise for the following week and my dad and I spoke and set up a lunch date for when I got back from vacation. I called him from the Bahamas to tell him how well our trip was going and we also talked about Christmas arrangements. I got back and didn't call him the same day because we drove so much so I planned for the following day to call him and do our lunch date but that was the day I got the call......
I rushed to the hospital but he was gone. but he'd been non responsive to medical personnel since they arrived at his house. It was so sudden, so unexpected, and sti unexplainable. Nobody knows what happened to him yet. His girlfriend went to check on him because he didn't answer the phone and he was beside his bed on the floor. It's so unfair and I hate thinking of my dad in that way. I still refuse to believe it. This man was healthy. He did take medication for tremors though. The doctor said it may have been a diabetic seizure that led to a coma and ultimately his death but he didn't have diabetes! This is such an irritating event and it makes me so angry. I hate that this has happened and ill probably never be the same. I just don't know what to do without my daddy. There's so much I needed him for still in my life. So much I needed him to explain to me still.
To top it all off, I've been to church many, many times. But I over think things too much and sometimes I wonder if heaven and god are all something we believe in to make ourselves feel better about the death of somebody. I know that's ultimately not true, but it's just something that constantly runs through my head and bothers me more.
I'm only 18, I NEED my father. ):