Lost my darling mum unexpectedly 12 days ago

by Belle
(England)

My wonderful mum died unexpectedly on the 30th April 2012, she had a heart attack during the night. She had been so fit and healthy, never smoked or drank and walked everywhere. Mum did have high blood pressure over the years and unbeknown to us this had weakened her heart arteries. Her death was so unexpected and i am absolutely heartbroken. She was only 64 and i'm 29. I took it for granted that she would be around for at least another 10-20 years. I simply do not know what to do, she was one of the kindest, sweetest women around and i simply do not know how i am going to live without her. I had a baby boy 15 weeks ago and i'm heartbroken mum wont see him grow up; she would have been amazing as a grandma and she had so much to look forward to. Please can anyone offer me some advice or similar experiences?

Comments for Lost my darling mum unexpectedly 12 days ago

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May 16, 2012
Lost my mum too
by: Jane

Hi Belle

Just been googling 'i've lost my mum' as if a magical answer is going to come up... Like you my mum died suddenly and unexpectedly- from acute pancreatitis on the 29th April- she was healthy - didn't smoke or drink and was only 65. I'm 32 with a 3 year old and 13 week old baby. I feel so sad she won't see them grow up and in complete shock and disbelief, although the reality of it all is now sinking in and I miss her so much and just feel empty. I know you must be feeling the same- such confusion when a new life has arrived and such an important person has gone. Not sure what to say but my mums love is keeping me going- she was such an amazing mum and if I can be like her with my children then that is her legacy... I keep thinking it will just have to be alright and i will get through this- life will never be the same but I'm hoping with time and the love of my family it will be okay... It has made me realise how perfect my life was before all of this and how silly I was to complain about anything- keep seeing mother and daughters everywhere and it makes me so sad...

Jane

May 15, 2012
I feel your pain!
by: Krystal

I know exactly what you are going through. My Mom passed away in her sleep of a massive heart attack on 5/5/12. She had no previous health problems, not even one. It has come as a shock to our entire family. She was only 56 years old with 3 children & 7 grandchildren.
Today is my first day back to work since her passing. I feel scared, lonely, even anxious. I've been told that all of these feelings are completely normal. Please hold on to the good memories of your mother & let them give you strength. Don't be afraid to speak with a grief counselor if you need to. I am making an appointment this week. I just can't deal with the loss on my own.

May 14, 2012
Lost my darling Mum unexpectedly 12 days ago
by: Federico Lambea

I understand you very well. I've lost my Mum last september. 64 years-old only! 12 days is too soon . But I know most give time to time. My best wishes for You and I hope You'll recovered!

May 14, 2012
Your beloved mum.
by: Jan

Let me say first that I am so sorry for your loss.
One thing I will tell you that may help, if you have faith, you can know that your mom is not dead at all.

In 2004, one evening I got a call that my younger sister had died.

Then the next morning grief hit me full force, but I hadn't cried even a minute when I heard her voice, "Jan! I'm okay."...crystal clear.

I was surprised, but thought it might be my imagination, then remembered that for the last 25 years I've lived in Europe, I always gave my first name, Linda because my middle name, “Jan" sounds masculine.

My family calls me Jan. So I thought, "If it was my imagination, the name Linda would have popped up first." But then I just kind of blew it off.

3 days later, I was in the States and on the morning after I arrived, I woke up early and started to cry. This time Lana said more firmly, "JAN, I'M OKAY!"

This time I was convinced. I rejoiced. Wow! Lana's okay!

We went to the funeral home and my sister Debbie & I were working to make her look more natural as the funeral guy had put on eyeliner and given her a funny hairstyle.

Debbi (a hair stylist) restyled her hair and I wiped off the eyeliner, but I hadn't been doing this long when I saw Lana floating @ 3 feet above the coffin.

I then heard her say in a silly joking voice, "Do you think you could make me look a little more like Hedy Lamar?"

I burst out with a laugh then clamped my hand over my mouth looking at Debbie to see her reaction. She a spiritual person and knows the Lord, so she had a questioning look and I told her what I just happened.

Weeks later, back in Austria, I thought, "Who the heck was Hedy Lamar?" Turns out she was Austrian actress!

The story isn't over. A month later, I was at my brothers' place 2 days before I was to leave for Austria.

I was writing in my journal when suddenly my mind blanked out as if I'd spaced out for a few seconds. Like we do when our minds are tired. But I realized I had written something down without it going thru my mind first.

I looked to see what I'd written and it said, "God is everything you always hoped He would be for you."

I looked up and I thought,"Where did THAT come from?" suddenly two arms wrapped around my shoulders and I got this big of a hug and I knew it was Lana.

I couldn't hold it back any more. I burst into tears sobbing for joy and relief and I was so comforted knowing that she HAD been giving me those messages all along and that the veil between this world and that one is a tissue-thin distance. They can see and hear us, but it's only by God's permission and His will that we can see or hear or feel them.

Dear one, you will see your mom again and you will both be so happy together.

May 13, 2012
I Understand
by: Madame Rell

I am also 28yrs old and my Dad was 58yrs and I am not married nor do I have children yet. These are aspects of my grief that I found to be challenging because I wanted my father to see me in different mediums as a person and share that with me with me. My Father was/is the essence of love. He is the reason I love so deeply. I felt like the child in me died and on some level I have to elevate and rise to be a greater person. I feel I must be my father's dream come true by living the life he lived: an Honorable one. Stay Blessed.

Madame Rell

May 13, 2012
I am With You
by: Madame Rell

I am with you my dear. I lost my father in a drowning accident at our home in AZ. I live in Boston, MA and received the call from my mother. My parents had planned a date night and my father took a swim in the pool prior to my mother and home. My mother (who happens to be an ER, OR, ICU Nurse) just got off work and found my Dad int he pool. She was unable to revive him. It was truly devastating when we received the autopsy results because my father was so health conscious and fit. His cause of death was drowning and my father was a good swimmer. We were so shocked. He was 58 yrs old. I pray for you and believe me heaven only takes the best; their is no other exception but that.

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