lost my family
This is hard for me I do not like telling everyone my problems but I am at the point where I can no longer grief by my self. I lost my mother 3 months ago from cancer. Her and I were really close, she was a stoke victim before she got cancer and I helped her with everything, and we where best friends. My Grandmother passed away 5 months ago of dementia, too say the least it was very hard to handle my grandmothers affairs while my mother was on hospice. And my grandma and I where really close as well. actually i was the only person she would allow to shower her. My grandma was my mom's mom, and i couldn't get my mom up to see my grandma due to her cancer, which will bother me for the rest of my life. Along with my mom and grandma passing I have been dealing with the loss of my father 2 1/2 years ago from cancer. Both of my parents where diagnosed with lung cancer and both were 61 when the passed, my dad fought it but lost in the end. And my mom always a realist knew she wasn't strong enough to go threw the treatment, so she deiced to go into hospice right away.
I am just so tired of loss and grief. The friends I have are the only family I have left and it is very hard for them to understand me. I don't even understand myself most days. They tell me that it just takes time, but time is what I am afraid of. I am only in my 20's and it scares me that i have to got threw the rest of my life with no family. And the is fact hits harder home to me because I can not have children of my own.
I do have a much older sister and she has two teenage boys. But she is a really different type of person and we do not get along at all. For example she is a RN and when my mom asked her to change her and my sister so loving replied " ugh that a aids job"....keep in mind that my mother was in hospice at her home. And that is how that went in till my mother died, and after she passed I really messed up and told my sister how I felt about her and how she treated my mom. It is safe to say nothing that was said was faltering on both side and we do not talk anymore. I was told if I tried to show up for my nephew gradation party I will be arrested for trespassing. nice sister aye?
How do do holidays with out a family? How will I celebrate anything anymore with out a family? both of my parents where diagnosed with cancer right around christmas...great Christmas gift.
I miss the way it used to be with everyone. And I know it will never be the same, but it doesn't make it any easier. I feel as if time is your friend and enemy all in one.
I guess i am writing this to this page so I know that I am not alone. If anyone has any tips on how to go on after loosing your family, I could really use some.