lost my family

This is hard for me I do not like telling everyone my problems but I am at the point where I can no longer grief by my self. I lost my mother 3 months ago from cancer. Her and I were really close, she was a stoke victim before she got cancer and I helped her with everything, and we where best friends. My Grandmother passed away 5 months ago of dementia, too say the least it was very hard to handle my grandmothers affairs while my mother was on hospice. And my grandma and I where really close as well. actually i was the only person she would allow to shower her. My grandma was my mom's mom, and i couldn't get my mom up to see my grandma due to her cancer, which will bother me for the rest of my life. Along with my mom and grandma passing I have been dealing with the loss of my father 2 1/2 years ago from cancer. Both of my parents where diagnosed with lung cancer and both were 61 when the passed, my dad fought it but lost in the end. And my mom always a realist knew she wasn't strong enough to go threw the treatment, so she deiced to go into hospice right away.

I am just so tired of loss and grief. The friends I have are the only family I have left and it is very hard for them to understand me. I don't even understand myself most days. They tell me that it just takes time, but time is what I am afraid of. I am only in my 20's and it scares me that i have to got threw the rest of my life with no family. And the is fact hits harder home to me because I can not have children of my own.

I do have a much older sister and she has two teenage boys. But she is a really different type of person and we do not get along at all. For example she is a RN and when my mom asked her to change her and my sister so loving replied " ugh that a aids job"....keep in mind that my mother was in hospice at her home. And that is how that went in till my mother died, and after she passed I really messed up and told my sister how I felt about her and how she treated my mom. It is safe to say nothing that was said was faltering on both side and we do not talk anymore. I was told if I tried to show up for my nephew gradation party I will be arrested for trespassing. nice sister aye?

How do do holidays with out a family? How will I celebrate anything anymore with out a family? both of my parents where diagnosed with cancer right around christmas...great Christmas gift.
I miss the way it used to be with everyone. And I know it will never be the same, but it doesn't make it any easier. I feel as if time is your friend and enemy all in one.
I guess i am writing this to this page so I know that I am not alone. If anyone has any tips on how to go on after loosing your family, I could really use some.

Comments for lost my family

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Jul 04, 2014
by: Nixon

I am so very sorry for your loss. I will not say that I understand, because we all experience grieve differently. I'm 30 and I too lost my Mom recently. I just wanted to say that I admire your strenght, that you are not alone - and if possible I would give you a hug and buy you a cup of coffee, just to talk, share our experiences and try to comfort you as best as I could.

Jul 03, 2014
by: Kate

I don't have tips I just know what you're going through. I have lost both my parents,my husband my son and my sister. It is so much I don't know how I'm still going on. Death makes us angry and hurt and in pain and overwhelms us with sorrow,so anything we do is ok. Forgive yourself. It does take time and it changes you but we grow too. I hope you meet someone to love you for the caring person you seem to be and that God will help you heal too,we are all hurting together on this site. Cyber hug to you, you have gone through a lot.

Jul 02, 2014
lost my family
by: Doreen UK

You are so young to lose the most important people from your family who nurtured you. Cancer is a horrible disease to afflict families. My husband of 44yrs. was diagnosed with a rare and serious form of lung cancer in 2009. His lung cancer was inoperable, incurable, aggressive and terminal having taken 40yrs to develop. I nursed him for 3yrs.39days and he died 2yrs. ago. This cancer journey was so horrendous with great suffering.
I have 4 sisters and one brother and they were all supportive but this soon stops as everyone goes their own ways back into their own lives. But one sister has remained supportive. I understand what you say by you being open and honest with your sister about your feelings and her lack of support to you with your mother in hospice. Sadly this happens a lot. I also had to confront a family member about important matters which didn't go down well and they walked away from me. Sometimes there is no easy way to confront issues that need to be confronted. What is important is that you know you did the right thing. You can't keep quiet and carry the responsibility for other's as it is destructive to oneself. First thing to do is to take ONE DAY AT A TIME. Try and get support for yourself via a grief counsellor who may be able to tap into organisations or outlets as a starting point for you to meet people and widen your world so you don't feel so insular and alone. FOCUS on ONE DAY AT A TIME and don't look too far forward otherwise you will feel the overwhelming feeling of being alone without any family or people to support you. Good support is vital at this moment. You may be able to access support groups. Which a counsellor may be able to help you with. You may be able to get information from your doctor about bereavement support. When you have no family or anyone to turn to it can feel very scary, and you can feel all alone when you have no one. It is important to put people in your life. We don't survive well in isolation and I guess this is how you feel now. Very isolated. Don't suffer in silence. it is important to talk. But choose your confidants carefully so that you will feel secure in receiving the correct support. Most of us have some dysfunction in our families and don't want to share this with other people feeling it is a private affair. But it is in sharing that we find that our family is not very different. We can be supported as we share our life experiences and how we have overcome them. You will recover from grief as we all will but it will take a long time. Recovery is slow.

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