Lost my father a week ago

by soyi
(India)

My father will forever be my hero.Whatever I am today was because of him & his sacrifices, his belief in me even though the rest of the world sometimes didnt stand by me, he would always be there. His smile, his wisdom, his affection would give me strength. He was diagnosed with colon cancer in May 2013, few months of surgery & chemotherapy etc but the cancer recurred with the doctor giving him only 6 months time to live!. I remember getting this bit of news from the docs. In a way I do not know where I got the strength to deal with this but I did.
Today when he is gone, I cannot express in words how I feel.He suffered a lot in the past couple of months leading to his death. And I know that in a way he was relieved of his suffering & pain coz he was always such a vibrant, jovial and ever energetic man. He never wanted to see himself crippled like that on the bed, having to see his own life wither away. I know many times when I would see him suffer that way that I prayed to God to take him away so that he would get some peace. But it's only now that I realise losing him is going to be the most difficult thing ever.I am going about my life as usual, but I cry a lot when I am alone, I miss him terribly.. Sometimes I get these pangs,wanting to see him again, to speak to him again, to hear his voice.I keep reading our messages to each other, watching his videos, his photographs wondering if he is listening. He always told me that he would be there even after he goes... I was fortunate that I also got to spend a lot of time with him, holding his hand, telling him that I loved him. On one of those days, weeks before his death he called me home & said " this is the end" and told me that he also saw a very vivid image of me..I knew too that his time was running out.... I often wonder if my dad hears me now, if he sees me now.. Has anyone ever gotten a sign from their loved ones who have departed..I am still waiting for mine. I dont know why it isnt there..or maybe it is but I am not able to see it. I want to believe he is in heaven & is happy & peaceful, he knew always how much I loved him. sometimes it feels unreal that he is not there anymore & sometimes when the truth hits me I feel shattered. But I know he would have wanted me to continue leading my life & be happy. He left being assured that we would take care of ourselves. I just have to respect that & I know the more depressed I become, his soul will not get peace..I just hope as the years pass by, I become stronger. I know I shall remember him every day ..every single day till the day I meet him in heaven again!

Comments for Lost my father a week ago

Click here to add your own comments

Sep 03, 2014
Hi Doreen
by: Anonymous

Firstly thank you for sharing your experience. It was very heart warming.. the bird was truly a sign from God that your husband is safe and happy with God. He is relieved of his suffering.
Now that you talked of the bird, I have also noticed a few things which I did not really observe too much. I was consumed with grieving for my father's death.. But I think your story is also a message sent from God to me trying to tell me that my dad is safe with him and alive with him. ..There is a lake right opposite my house which my father really loved to visit, he was very fond of birds. After he passed away I have been seeing that lake full of the most beautiful white cranes, they swim there every day. And strangely they have been there since the day he died. I guess they are angels.. I dont think there is any other way I could describe it..I think your story of the white feathers just makes my belief more firm.
Thank you for sharing this. And I know God shall give you the strength also to carry on till you see your husband again.

Sep 01, 2014
Lost my father a week ago
by: Doreen UK

Soyi what an articulate post your wrote about your father. I am sorry for your loss.
I lost my husband of 44yrs. to a deadly cancer 2yrs. ago. I prayed for healing but this was not to be. I faced my anger at losing him, and my confusion about him not being healed. My faith in God has been restored and I do believe that my husband is at Peace and in heaven. Not everyone gets signs. But I did. When my husband was waiting for his test results a white fan tailed beautiful bird sat on our side gate. Erect and like an angel. I felt a wave of panic that this was a comfort sign for us. IT WAS. My husband's appt. was brought forward. The diagnosis was of a Rare and serious cancer which was inoperable, incurable, and aggressive. Chemotherapy was started immediately, then Radiotherapy. Chemo again and then sent home to die. I nursed him for 3yrs.39 days and he died 2yrs. ago. I kept seeing white feathers everywhere. A sign of comfort that our loved one's are safe and well. I then walked through a carpet of white feathers. A great comfort. I saw white feathers for a long time and still do. That white bird would sit on the bird feeding table. I would talk to him and he would not fly away as other birds did. That bird stayed with us for 4yrs. All during the cancer journey and then 1yr after. He has gone now and I do believe that bird was an angel sent from God to comfort us. I now have many dreams of my husband. My computer broke down and my niece was going to fix the software problem. My niece then dreamt of my husband (her uncle - mothers brother). My husband was supposed to have told my niece that the computer was broken. She said "I know uncle, I am going to repair this tomorrow but I need to get the password from aunty. My husband told his niece in her dream don't worry I will give you the password now." He did and she managed to get into the computer with the right password.
When a person dies. The body dies but the Spirit goes back to God who gave it. So our loved one's are alive with God. Only the body dies and goes back to dust. Our loved one's suffering is over. I will see my husband again according to God's Promise. This gives me the hope to go on living, as difficult as it is. I hope my experience will comfort you and you will one day have an experience of comfort and Peace.

Aug 31, 2014
So Sorry
by: machelle

I truly understand your pain and I wish I could take it away and bury it at the bottom of the ocean for you.

Click here to add your own comments

Return to Lost Dads.

[?]Subscribe To This Site
  • XML RSS
  • follow us in feedly
  • Add to My Yahoo!
  • Add to My MSN
  • Subscribe with Bloglines

RSS Feed Widget
->


 POPULAR
  RESOURCES


Tap into the compassion, support and wisdom of the

GRIEF CLUB


Essential Healing Guide

Grief Relief
Program

Free Griefwork
E-Course

Free Stress
Management
E-Course



SBI Video Tour!