Lost my father today
My mom passed away 8 years ago from cancer. I buried my father yesterday who was my best friend. I am having a very hard time because I haven't seen him in 3 years and I found out he was saving to move next to me. We talked every day. He didn't want to die. He fought all the way to the end. His kidneys and liver stopped working. He went in with stomach pains and died 3 weeks later. I came home and saw he was living in poor conditions and I have large amounts of guilt because I should of done something. I use to lie to my father and borry money to feed a gambling habit that I had. Now I was just getting to a point in my life where I could repay him and spend time with him and he's gone. I have been strong but I think I am in shock. I want to call him and just see how' he's doing but he's not here anymore and I feel alone. I am 39 and married with a son but I just have a heavy and guilty heart for the things I did to him in he past. He was the greatest man I every met. He would give everyone his last penny to help.
I just don't know what to do now