Lost my Grandpa and Foster Sister

I lost my foster sister and grandfather a month apart, almost 5 years ago. I feel guilty, sad, and weak. No one is still grieving them, and it hurts to be the only one stuck in the past. I feel so much guilt for not visiting and spending more time with my grandpa. I often look back on things and wish I had talked to him more, got to know him better.
My foster sister was sent back to live with her abusive birth family, then removed and sent to another foster family, who unfortunately adopted her. Her now adoptive parents were negligent and unsuitable to parent a dog, let alone a child.
I think about her so often, crying when I know she will grow up and have no idea who I am. I can't seem to move on from these events, even though I have had professional counseling twice.
My grief has wrecked me as a person and made me so bitter and hard. I wish I had never experienced this. I just want to feel normal again.

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